Year of Hell: Reset
by jennaegg
Summary: What if when Janeway crashes Voyager into the Krenim vessel, much more of the past resets itself? AU
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I earn nothing from this story. All characters belong to Paramount. This story belongs to me, however. Just one of the many things I think up at 3AM.

"Time's up." I hope they aren't going to be my last two words. I hope my crashing into the Krenim vessel will reset the timeline, but temporal mechanics are just too complicated to take anything for granted. As I fly closer to the vessel, my life flashes before my eyes, and I think of all the things I wish I had done differently.

I think of being a young girl. I was so innocent. I had no fears or major heartaches, but the years since then have not been so kind. As always in moments of quiet, my mind turns to darker days of my life.

Mostly the guilt. Getting 150 people stranded in the Delta Quadrant. Knowing most of them (if not all) will either die or have to settle in this God forsaken stretch of space. All of that because I destroyed their only way home.

My final thoughts are of my gallant crew. They worked so hard, only to be destroyed by this mad man. This man who is so heartbroken that he is willing to disrupt everyone else's history in order to get back the woman he loves. If it didn't taste so bitter to me, I would find his actions sweet. As it stands, he's condemned my Voyager family to a slow, agonizing death, and no one messes with my family.


	2. Chapter 2

I blink my eyes, but it's so hard. My eyelids feel frozen shut. For a second I'm confused before I gasp. I remember this feeling. It's one I haven't felt in 15 years, but at this point it's ingrained.

I lift my head and see a sight that has frequently visited my nightmares. A sight that has been a part of my life for years – lurking in the dark. Waiting for my most vulnerable moments. But because of that, I have never been able to stop thinking about this moment. What would I do if I made it back? And, now I know.

I sit up and army crawl as swiftly as possible to the transporter controls. I hit a few buttons, and on my command, a body materializes beside me. I work the controls again, but before the final button is pressed, it loses its power source. I always expected it would, but it was worth a shot.

I turn slightly to check on the man beside me. I see a slight intake of breath and smile. I lace my hand through his, and lie down beside him with the last of my strength. If history follows its pattern, rescue will be here within 25 minutes.

Once more I look at the careworn face beside me. My father – this time I saved him. I managed to only lose one. Tau Ceti Prime is no longer as cold as it has always been in my memories.


	3. Chapter 3

I wake up in a warm environment with a plushness beneath me. I recognize the feeling and the smell as a Federation Medical facility. I want to look around, but I am so tired. Now that I know I am safe, I close my eyes again and allow the exhaustion to take me under.

"Kathryn?"

I hear my mother's honey sweet voice from what feels very far away.

"Kathryn? Wake up baby."

I open my eyes ever so slightly and see my mother's face.

"Hey, momma."

"Hi, sweetheart. How are you feeling?"

"Like I just got in a shuttle accident." Probably not the best words to say seeing as my mom knows how close she came to losing her family.

"I'm sorry, baby."

"Don't be. I'll be fine. How's daddy?"

Before she can speak, my mother's eyes fill with tears. She knows what sacrifice I made. Someone at Starfleet (if not daddy himself) has undoubtedly already told her.

"He's going to be fine. Owen said that if you hadn't thought so quickly, he would've been gone before rescue could arrive. I know it must've been a hard choice. I'm so sorry about Justin."

My mom cups my cheek, but I want to make it clear to her why I made the choice I did.

"You know how they say that your life flashes before your eyes right before you die? Mine did. Only I saw much more than my past. I saw what I can only describe as a possible future. And I saw the look on your face when they told you daddy didn't make it. I felt the pain in my heart when I knew that I had gambled to save them both and lost everything in the process. I love Justin, and a part of me always will. But in those moments, I knew you would never get over losing daddy."

Before I knew what was happening, I was enveloped in a hug and felt my mother's hot tears hitting my neck where she had buried her face. For long moments, there was silence that was only broken by my mother's heavy, tear-laden breathing and the whirling of the biobed monitors.

When my mom has regained control, she takes my face in both hands and lays a soft kiss on my forehead. "You're right, Katie. Ever since I've known your father I was hopeless without him."

"Me, too. I know how I described it sounded selfless, but daddy means so much to me. I knew I couldn't have it all, but this way we don't all lose everything."

Before my mother can respond, a doctor walks into the room.

"How are you feeling, Lieutenant?"

"You've seen me without my pants on. I think you can call me Kathryn."

For a second my doctor seems shocked that I am joking, but I see the moment she considers that we all grieve in our own way and continues her query.

"How are you feeling, _Kathryn?_ "

"All things considered?" At her nod, I continue. "Not as bad as I expected to feel."

In all honesty, I had already lived this before, and my grief over Justin was almost two decades old. It had been tempered through time and distance – about 75,000 lightyears of it. While I was disappointed that I couldn't save them both, I had run the scenario enough times to know it was extremely unlikely.

"I'm glad to hear that. In the coming days, you will probably feel the full brunt of what has happened to you, so I am ordering mandatory counseling and six weeks leave at which time you will be evaluated to see if you can return to duty."

"I understand." I would argue, but as the Borg say, 'resistance is futile.'

With that my doctor turns to my mother. "I know you probably don't want to let her out of your sight, but your daughter needs her rest Mrs. Janeway."

I almost laugh aloud at the face my mother makes. She hates being called 'Mrs. Janeway' as much as I hate 'sir.' It's Gretchen, ma'am, or for the luckiest in the world, momma.

Again my mother kisses my forehead before giving a quick goodbye and exiting the room.

"I wasn't just saying that Kathryn. You really do need your rest. Your injuries were extensive, and rest is the best way to heal."

"Yes, doctor." I say as I make myself comfortable. "Good night, doctor."


	4. Chapter 4

After three more days, I'm finally allowed to return home. For a few seconds, mid-transport, a great peace envelops me. That peace continued as I stare at the front of my family home. It's a sight I haven't seen in over three years. My slow journey towards the front door is due in part to my injuries, but mostly it is awe.

For all my encouraging words to the crew, I had serious doubts about seeing this home ever again.

Before I get too deep into thoughts that I assume are from some future I have lived in, my father steps through the front door to help me up the stairs. I can't stop staring at him. I hadn't seen him since I blacked out on Tau Ceti Prime. He was released last night, but I was already asleep when he stopped by.

"Daddy!" I want to run into his arms, but it's too taxing to even walk quickly. He sees my dilemma and meets me more than half way. As exhausted as movement makes me, I swing my arms around my father's neck and bury my face into his chest. He smells just like I remember. A mixture of wood burning fires, my mother's brownies, Irish whiskey, and pure determination. It's a smell I have missed for so long.

"I never want to lose you."

"I couldn't stand losing you, Goldenbird." What a sweet endearment. The last time I heard it came from an alien machination. The inflection of this man, my daddy, is so much sweeter than the fake.

"Can we go inside, daddy?" With those words he hoists me up like I am seven instead of 22 and carries me inside.

"Gretchen, I found a sad puppy outside and have decided to keep her. She looks like she might bite but not very hard. Is that okay with you?"

"Does she look clean?"

I stick my face in my father's neck to keep the childish giggles at bay.

"She smells fine to me."

"What's she look like?"

"She's very beautiful. She has auburn hair and the prettiest blue eyes. They say that animals sometimes look like their owners. Now that I think about it, this puppy favors you."

"If you're saying I look like a dog, I'm not impressed Edward."

By this point my father and I have both lost our composure. As he sets me down on the couch and then takes a seat so my feet rest on his lap, we are both beyond control.

Through my squinting eyes, I see my mother come through the doorway.

"Oh Edward, she's beautiful. I guess we can keep her. But I have a two puppy quota. Is that clear?"

My mom positions herself on the other end of the couch, resting my head in her lap. At this point the only part of me actually touching the couch is my 'lower back.' If Phoebe gets here soon, I hope she takes one of the chairs.

My mom leans forward and lovingly kisses my forehead. She has done that more in the last few days then she has the rest of my life combined. Not that I am complaining. The way I see it, she and I have three years to make up for.

"You both have quite a bit of time off, what are you wanting to do?"

"Spend time with my family, mandatory counseling, and eat way too many brownies."

Coming from a Star Fleet family, I think my mother was shocked by how quickly my father and I both acquiesced to the time off. But I know what is going through my father's head, and I know what's going through mine. Six weeks is a minimum, and we both know it.

"Took the words right out of my mouth." My father agrees. I watch as my parents hands meet over me and intertwine. It reminds me of a similar gesture made on a planet half a lifetime away. I think of soulmates, and I'm assured once more that I made the right decision.

"I have made a decision." I say breaking the comfortable heaviness that had permeated my little family.

"What about Goldenbird?"

"I want to switch to the Command Track."

"That's wonderful. Wait until I can brag to Owen."

"Edward!" My mom isn't fooling anyone with her fake outrage. She was thinking the same thing about the matriarch of the Paris clan. I can see it in her eyes, she can hardly wait to tell Elizabeth that I am finally following my parents' advice.

We all turn when we hear stomping at the front door. Before I can even think about what I'm saying, I blurt "I hope you got your receipt from the pound. That one sounds like a handful."

"I heard that. You should just be glad that you are already hurt, or I'd hold you down and beat you up." Phoebe screams from the other room. She never really would. It's just one of those things sisters say. I know how worried the crash made her. And on top of that, she couldn't beat me up if she really did try. She's an artist, not a warrior.

"You're a pansy. If I'm an Irish setter, you're a rat terrier. You think your bark sounds vicious, but really it's just annoying."

"Irish setter my butt. At best you're a mutt. And not even one of the cute ones that people want to adopt. No, you're one that gets left in the pound until some sob feels guilty and adopts you out of pity."

Phoebe plops down in her seat which is blessedly the chair facing the couch. My backside can't take her bony knees right now.

"Girls." My mom may have only uttered one word, but accompanying it was a death glare that I have spent years emulating. A lot of the upper echelons at Star Fleet call it the 'Janeway death glare,' but really my daddy learned it from my mom.

"Yes, momma." Phoebe and I say slightly chastened.

"As fun as it is to see your mother turn that thing towards you two, I feel like it's time to eat lunch. Then you need to take a nap, Goldenbird. You need to learn to follow orders if you're going to give them one day."

So my family shuffled to the table just off the kitchen and ate a meal shrouded in light and happy conversation. I could see times when eyes would dim whenever Justin was inadvertently brought up. He was my fiancé. I am not the only one grieving. For my parents and my sister, he was a part of their family.

Eating a final bite of brownie, I begged off and fell into a surprisingly peaceful sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

The next six weeks pass quickly. It's so different from the dark period I remember from the first time around. Because my gloom is tempered, I actually make progress with the counselor. I'm finally working through things that should've probably been dealt with years before now.

The counselor seems pleased with my work and has put in a recommendation that I be allowed to return to work. Ultimately the Admirals will decide, but I have no reason to doubt that they will allow me to go back. Daddy was approved this morning. He, however, didn't lose a fiancé. He is also much more important to Star Fleet than I currently am. Vice Admirals are a lot less expendable than lowly lieutenants.

Either way it goes, I'm currently making my way towards Admiral Paris's office. I have never been comfortable with calling him Owen, even though he is an old family friend.

All three Admirals are already present when I arrive. Looking around I see a fourth Admiral – my father. His presence makes me think this will be good news.

"It's good to see you looking so well, Katie." Owen says before he sits down and gets ready for business.

"After reviewing the file your counselor left and the physical given by the head of Star Fleet Medical, you are hereby allowed to return to duty. We do understand if you still need time."

"No time, sirs. However, I would like to ask something while you are gathered."

Three curious faces peered back at me.

"I would like to switch to the command track. I know it requires two Admiral level signature…"

"Now I know why you are sitting there like the cat that got the canary, Edward." Admiral Paris joked.

"Can't a father be proud of his daughter?"

"Edward, I swear that if you go on like you did when Phoebe opened her gallery, we will all rethink your leave." Admiral Livingston joked.

"I won't Teddy. I won't. This will be much worse."

"Retirement is starting to look good." Admiral Paris volleyed back.

"Well gentlemen?" I questioned trying to remind the Admirals of the topic that started this all.

"Well that one goes without saying, Katie. Edward may be horrible when he's gloating, but it's worse when he's morose."

"Just do what my mom does when he gets in a mood. Stuff him full of brownies." My innocent look isn't fooling my daddy, but these past six weeks have been full of a lot of good natured ribbing between myself and my father.

"Well gentlemen, my family has some celebrating to do. I'm sure my wife is expecting us home soon. I'm also sure she has some brownies to mark the occasion."

"I am pleased to see you looking well. Both of you. And welcome back." Admiral Ingen says. Speaking for the first time since I entered. The Betazoids I know normally spend time silently assessing a situation instead of having to feel it out like us humans. It's kind of weird to think that Ingen has been in my head this whole time, but I threw up on him when I was a baby, so this isn't the worst shared experience we have. As soon as I have that thought, Ingen chuckles.

I smile politely. With head nods, my father and I make our exit.

"I'm glad that's over with. I expected that I'd get to go back, but I was still nervous."

"That's understandable. You've been through a lot. They all wanted to have clear consciences before they let you go back to work."

"Exactly where my fear rested. I was scared they would deny me based on feelings they expect me to have. I can't explain it exactly, but the counseling has made me feel like I am starting to heal."  
"They saw that. Owen was telling me before you got there that Livingston and Ingen were going to let him have the final say. It wasn't until you were in the room that Owen decided you could handle it."

"Well I'm glad he did. I'm excited about moving to the command track."

"Don't tell your mom Goldenbird, but I accepted Starfleet's offer to extend my leave. I want to surprise your mom with a couple weeks together. This crash put into perspective how many times I put Starfleet in front of my family And anyway, now there's another Janeway in the business. If one Janeway is tough, two Janeways are unstoppable."

When I looked away from my father's face, I realize he has led us into Boothby's garden. Right in front of the peace roses. If Boothby wasn't so particular about his flowers, I would pick one to bring to my mom. But if Boothby wasn't so particular about his flowers, he wouldn't be Boothby.

"They're beautiful."


	6. Chapter 6

I recognize that voice. I would recognize that voice anywhere. I take a breath and turn slowly.

"Yes, they are."

There's a heat that sparks between us that I have become accustomed to over the course of the last few years. As soon as he materialized on my bridge, I felt the overpowering electricity.

And then he smiles, and all I see are dimples. Dimples that I have sorely missed over the last two months. I smile coyly back.

"Boothby's roses are one of the reasons I decided to take an Academy posting." The need to share thoughts instantly with each other is also nothing new. When we were on Voyager, I instantly knew I could trust him. Looking deep into his brown eyes, I want to tell this version of the man I somehow fell in love with everything about our lives together – and everything about my life before him.

"I'll probably be seeing you around then. I just switched to command track, so I will be stationed on Earth during my training."

"Wanted the uniform to match your hair instead of your eyes? That muvst've been a tough decision."

By this point Chakotay and I have forgotten completely about my father standing two feet beside me. As any good Admiral he makes his presence known. "Katie, we really need to head home, or your mother's going to think we decided to get straight back to work."

"You're right, dad." Turning to Chakotay, I give a goodbye. "It was nice to meet you" I almost say his name before realizing that he hasn't given it.

"Nice to meet you, Katie. My name's Chakotay, by the way."

I decide right then that I can't stand to part from Chakotay. In this reality we may have only just met, but I don't want to think about another full day without him. "It's Kathryn. And if you want to join us, we are having a celebration. We could talk more about Boothby's roses." I know my face looks hopeful, and I'm trying to mask it in case I'm disappointed by his response.

"I'd love to. If that's alright with you, sir?" Chakotay responds turning to face my father. I didn't even think to ask, even though the get together is at my parents' home.

"It's Katie's celebration."

Another dimpled smile is his answer as my father begins to lead us all towards the transporter room.

Rematerializing in my front yard, I watch fascinated at the series of emotions that cross Chakotay's face. My home has always been permeated by a strong sense of family, and I can see in Chakotay's eyes that he feels it, too.

"This is my parents' home and location of the festivities."

"It's a lovely home."

"Goldenbird, I'm going to head in and talk to your mother. Why don't you show Chakotay around?"

"Of course, daddy."

With that I lace my arm through his elbow and tug him along for the grand tour. "This is my thinking tree. It's one of the most important places on the whole property. It's also where I fell and broke my arm when I was six."

"Sounds important." Chakotay jokes.

"Yes, well, it's been a great help whenever I have to come to a decision."

"That's why I like Boothby's gardens."

"They are definitely tranquil. My room and the gardens were two of the only places one would find me whenever I was studying at the academy."

"You're one of those types, hmm? I should've guessed."

"Let me guess, you were top of the class. Intuitive. Comfortable." I know from Chakotay's own mouth that these assumptions are wrong, but I want to relearn this Chakotay. I want to share with him, and I want him to share with me.

"Not exactly. I entered the Academy when I was 15. I was two years younger than most other incoming cadets and felt the need to hunker down and work. I didn't grow up with a lot of technology either, so I had a lot to learn on that front as well."

"Not me. I'm a true child of the 24th century. Technobabble was my first language."  
Lighthearted laughter fills the space around us as I tug Chakotay to sit beside me under my tree.

"Not that I'm not enjoying myself, but why did you invite me to join you today?"

"When I first heard your voice behind me, I felt connected to you somehow. Then when I saw your face, I knew I didn't want to part from you so soon."

"I don't know why, but I felt the same way when I saw you."

"Can I say something without you thinking I'm crazy?" At Chakotay's nod, I continue. "Almost two months ago, I was in a shuttle crash. It's the reason we are celebrating today because my father and I both got permission to go back to active duty. Anyway, when I was lying there, I felt what I can only describe as seeing the future. About a decade and a half. And for some reason, I feel very secure in the knowledge that it was more than just delirium. It was real. The recollection ended with me doing something that reset a timeline. I expected it would reset a year of my life, not 15 years."

"My father's people believe in visions."

It makes me sad to hear him say father's people instead of his own. "It was more than a vision quest. It was so real. You were there. When I heard your voice in the garden today, it was the first time I had heard it in almost two months. I missed it."

"We seem to be awfully close in this future of yours."

"We are, but that future will never happen now. There are too many heartaches that I want to stop now that I'm able." I can see in his eyes that he is trying to believe me. "Only there was a major difference in your appearance."

"I'd say 15 years would allow for that."

Leaning across his lap, I extend my hand towards his forehead. "Age yes, but you also had a tattoo right about here." I trace the tattoo along Chakotay's temple and into his hairline before trailing my hand down his cheek to once again rest in my lap.

"My father's tattoo?"

"Yes." I know Chakotay got the tattoo when his father passed in my timeline, so I decide not to say more.

"Kathryn, I'm beginning to believe you."

Those words aren't all that surprising considering the absolute trust Chakotay has always engendered in me, and I in him, but it is still wonderful to hear.

"May I say something else? Two months ago, the crash I was in, there were three of us. My father, me, and my fiancé." I see Chakotay mentally taking a step back from me, so I rush on. "My fiancé died. I was ejected from the shuttle and only had time to transport one of them. So I saved my dad."

"I'm sorry for your loss, Kathryn." It's a common platitude, but I know Chakotay truly means it.

"In my head, I lived so long that the loss feels somehow tempered by time. The first time around, I did not handle the death nearly as well. But in my recollection, my father died as well. That's why I saved him this time. I saw the look of devastation that stayed on my mother's face for years. I couldn't do that to her."

"Not an easy choice to make."

"No it isn't, but I knew it was the right one. But what I'm trying to say is that it doesn't feel like I just lost my fiancé. Time and your friendship have brought me strong measures of peace."

"My friendship."

"From where I stand, we have known each other going on four years. The situation made it impossible to be anything other than friends. Even though I wanted more, your friendship was invaluable to me."

"Give me a second. Sorry, but this is a lot to take in. You are telling me what exactly?"

"That in this life that flashed before my eyes, I fell in love with a strong warrior who had your face and your memories."

"I only met you this morning."

"But I met you a lifetime ago."

"Give me a few days on this, okay. I do feel a connection, but I am only sitting under this tree because I commented on peace roses a couple hours ago."

"I'll give you a lifetime to think on it. I know it's probably hard for you to believe, and I feel foolish even saying anything. But I don't want to ever have secrets. If you do ever return my feelings, I want you to know that I never misled you."

"Katie, mom said get your butt in here or she's going to call Star Fleet and death glare them into reneging their offer."

"That's our cue. Just a little warning though. Call my dad Edward and my mom Gretchen. Ranks aren't allowed on this property, and my mom hates being called Mrs. Janeway."

"Thanks for the tip."


	7. Chapter 7

"Hey, momma." I say as I enter the living room.

"Hello, dear. And who might you be young man?"

"I am Chakotay."

"Nice to meet you, Chakotay. Would you care for a brownie?"

"Yes. Mrs. - Gretchen."

Chakotay hadn't really caught what he was saying until my mom turned her eyes toward him. I gave him a brief sympathy glance before grabbing a brownie off the proffered tray.

"Gretchen. Sorry. Kathryn warned me right before we got in here, too. My culture never referred to elders in such a relaxed way."

"First you make the cardinal sin of almost calling my wife Mrs. Janeway, and now you're calling her old. Things aren't boding well for you."

"What I meant to say is –"

"I know what you meant to say dear. As long as you don't do it again." My mom's face upturns into a joking smile that puts Chakotay at ease.

"Is that brownie still being offered?"

"You seem to be in luck. Edward and Katie have spared a couple this time. I honestly feel like I have made enough brownies in two months to feed the Federation."

"Just an Admiral and a Lieutenant. And a couple strays along the way."

"They're delicious Gretchen." Chakotay says. His face is rapturous like I always expected it would be if we ever made it home in time for my mom to make him some.

"They're an old family recipe. Of course, not for Katie. She's hopeless in the kitchen. Anything beyond a pot of coffee is beyond her."

I can see that my mom expects me to try to disagree, but instead I just chuckle at the accuracy in the statement.

"But I make a damned good pot of coffee."

"And drink way too much of it."

"I come by my coffee habit honestly. You knew when you married daddy that at least 25% of him was made up purely of coffee. Can I help it if I'm a daddy's girl?"

"I hope you never do, Goldenbird."

"So Chakotay, would you like to tell me more about yourself?" My mother's wheedling ways are helpful in diplomatic events, but right now they make me feel awkward on Chakotay's behalf.

"Sure. I am 25. I teach advanced tactics at the Academy. I enjoy anthropology and archaeology."

"Tactics. That's your specialty then."

It was a statement, not a question. I could see a little confusion in Chakotay's eyes before my mother continues.

"Edward has ship design. Katie is a whiz when it comes to quantum mechanics. I solve math problems in my sleep. Phoebe is an artist. And you are a tactician."

I knew instinctively that Chakotay felt peace at being included beside the rest of us.

"So I am."

"Where are you from Chakotay?" This one is from Phoebe. Her intense study of him makes me think that there will be a painting sooner rather than later depicting his rugged good looks.

"Trebus. It's a planet in the Dorvan system. I have a cousin in Ohio as well."

"What made you decide to join Starfleet?" My dad's question is curious, but I can see a dark glint in Chakotay's eyes born of pain and regret over the lost years with his family.

"Captain Sulu visited Trebus regularly and spoke so highly of Starfleet. I had always known I wanted to explore the stars. As soon as I was old enough, I applied, was accepted and flew to earth."

He failed to mention that he hadn't told his father anything, and it wasn't until his third year at the Academy when his father showed up in San Francisco that he even told his father about his decision.

"It must be hard on your parents having you so far away." This from my sweet momma. I know it's always hard when daddy or I get stationed away from Earth.

"Yes, it is."

I decide to spare Chakotay and ask when lunch will be ready.

"I'll go check. Edward, Phoebe, lend an old woman a hand. My mother winks before exiting towards the kitchen.

"I know that was hard on you. They are just too curious for their own goods."

"No, it's fine. I wouldn't expect them to have a stranger in their home without asking a few questions.

"I guess." I move from the chair to sit beside Chakotay on the couch. "I just know how hard the separation has been on you."

In a move I didn't expect, Chakotay pulls me closer to his side. I rest my head on his chest. I can hear his heartbeat beneath my ear and relax into him.

"It has been. My father was so disappointed when he visited me at the Academy. But then, you probably already know that."

"You have told me before, but I know how cathartic it is to get things off our chests."

"He honestly thought that he could drag me back to Trebus. He just came in and started talking about my responsibilities to my tribe."

"He loves you, Chakotay. When I entered the Academy, both of my parents pushed me towards the command track, but I decided on science. I stuck to it until two months ago. Now my parents are over the moon, and I get to start on a new part of my life." I pull my head away from his chest and place a hand on his cheek. "It isn't that he tried to push you into doing what he wanted. It's that you don't think he is proud of you. But sitting in front of me is a man that any father would be proud to call son."

Chakotay kissed my forehead then placed my head back over his heart. We sit in a comfortable silence feeling connected to each other.

And that's the scene my family walks into. I can tell by their faces that they're shocked, but they all quickly temper their features.

I think for a second about moving, but they have already seen what there is to see. And I know it is soothing to me and Chakotay to sit like this.

"Lunch is ready in the kitchen, Katie." My mother says. In her way of thinking, she believes it's best to avoid the elephant in the room until a time she can corner me later.

With that, they exit once more after giving our position another once over.

"Thank you, Kathryn."

"For what?"

"For not jumping when your family came in. You've also given me quite a bit to think about."

With that we stand up and make our way to the kitchen. The meal is filled with conversation and more friendly interrogation of Chakotay.

By the time I walk Chakotay to the transporter station, the sun is beginning to set.

"Thank you for coming today, Chakotay."

"I almost didn't. If you hadn't looked so earnest… I'm glad I did, though."

"I hope we can see each other again soon."

"I'd like that." Just outside the station, Chakotay drops his face and gives me a brief kiss on the lips. It began and ended so quickly that I felt for a second that I might have imagined it.

"Bye, Kathryn."

"Bye, Chakotay."


	8. Chapter 8

I enter the house knowing that I'm about to answer quite a few questions. At this point, I have shared my experiences on Voyager with all three of my family members, so I hope it isn't as bad as I'm thinking it could be.

"Don't detour, Katie. Straight to the living room." My mom's voice booms from the other room. I take a deep breath and then the first step towards what feels like an inquisition.

I plop down into the couch, tuck my feet beneath me then look at the three familiar faces before me.

"Let me start by asking one thing. You met Chakotay today?"

"Yes and no, momma."

"Very clear, Goldenbird."

"What I mean to say is that yes I met him today, but he was on Voyager."

"Voyager?"

"The ship I captained in whatever vision or reality I saw on Tau Ceti Prime. He was my first officer." I want to go into him being a Maquis, but I have kept that piece of information close hold in hopes that I can fix that situation before it happens.

"You're in love with him aren't you?" This one's from Phoebe. Of course an artist wouldn't have missed the gleam in my eye when I looked at him.

"I was in love with Chakotay my first officer. And besides 15 years and some memory engrams, he is the same person as the man who ate lunch at our table."

"You were in a relationship with your first officer?" Just like Phoebe asked about love because she's an artist, my father asks about regulations because he is an Admiral.

"No. I was in love with him, but you know regulations. We were stranded for over three years, but we were never anything more than friends."

For my family, these statements are just parts of a fictitious story, but to me they feel just as real as the lightning storm at my grandparents' farm when I was a little girl.

"It's hard to explain. A part of me realizes that the accident only happened two months ago, but a bigger part of me feels like it was a lifetime ago. Only this time, I didn't lose daddy."

I look up at the man I have always adored. I'm his Goldenbird. And he's my daddy. No matter my age, I will always feel like his little girl.

"What does Chakotay think?"

"I told him about my near death experience if that's what you mean, momma. His ancestors are strong believers in a spirit realm and visions beyond what we can comprehend. I know he believes me, and I know we have a connection now just like we did when we met on Voyager's bridge."

"When we came in and saw you snuggled together, I'll be honest in saying that I was shocked. You seemed for all the world to be holding the other half of your soul. If I didn't know how much of a doubter you are, I would be concerned about you. But this experience must have been profound for you to believe so much in it."

"It was. It is. When I saw Chakotay today it only reaffirmed what I felt. I don't know how much of the future is accurate now since I have already changed things, but there are so many things in my head to share."

"More experiences, Goldenbird?"

"More than that. Have any of you gone in my room the last couple weeks?" They all nod. "Then you have seen the stacks of padds?" Again three nods. "Those are specs. They have been circling in my brain. I obviously haven't tested any of them, but I feel confident that they will all be successful."

"Specs? What are we talking about exactly?"

"Shuttles, bioneural gel packs, alien technologies we acquired along the way, and most importantly, Voyager herself."

"I was doubting the temporal mechanics of what you described, but if these specs work out, I think I'll believe you."

"That's not all, though. I have seen enemies that the Federation will face in the future. I know how some events are most likely to unfold. If my knowledge proves correct, it will be invaluable towards protecting the Federation."

I want to tell my family about the Borg, Species 8472, and the Cardassian betrayal, but I decide to hold my tongue until my specs check out.

"I think we should make a trip to my office bright and early tomorrow to check out those specs."

"I agree."

"If they check out, I think we should ask the board of Admirals to convene. The Temporal Prime Directive is paramount, but you know that regulations are unclear enough that you could get away with sharing your experience."

"I've been thinking the same thing, but that's a big _if_. They look good on paper, but we will need to run scenarios to test them."

Four nods are seen. My family all agree with my assessment of the situation. I find myself hoping that I'm right. If I am, I can put a lot of wrongs to right.


	9. Chapter 9

Bright and early was no exaggeration. My father and I went to San Francisco bright and early every day for nearly four months running simulations and perfecting specs.

During that time I did very little besides my work and spending time with Chakotay. My dad ended up postponing his alone time with Mother.

But after four months, the time has finally arrived for me to present the findings in front of the council of the Admiralty. If they feel it is warranted, I will accompany the head of the fleet and go before the Federation Council.

"Admiral. Lieutenant. Follow me." As the unknown security lieutenant leads us to council chambers, I can't help but think of the possible outcomes and whether or not they will believe me.

We silently enter the door and stand before the Admirals. My dad, as superior will be addressed until such a time as he makes it known that I will be speaking.

"Greetings Admirals. I thank you all for taking time out of your busy day to listen to what we have to say."

"Admiral Janeway, you were vague in your reasoning. Why exactly have we all given that time you are thanking us for?"

"For that, I'd like to turn things over to my daughter." With a resounding nod, I step forward.

"Nearly six months ago, as you all know, the Terra Nova crashed on Tau Ceti Prime. My father and I were fortunate enough to survive."

The Admirals peered down at me. They all understand the price of Starfleet and know what I have paid.

"When I awoke to find myself on that barren ice land I was shocked for a moment. In my mind, I was 15 years in the past."

"Excuse me." I could see that every Admiral had been thinking what Fleet Admiral Thomas verbalized.

"I can only describe it as a feeling where your life flashes before your eyes. Only this was my future."

"Hysteria?"

"My parents tried to downplay it as well, Admiral. And if all I had was what amounted to a deranged vision, I wouldn't have wasted your time. For the last four months, my father and I have been trying to compile evidence proving that what I viewed was at least a possible future."

"Did you find anything?"

"Quite a lot, sir. I checked the backgrounds of personnel who were serving on my ship. The bits that my future self was told, and every single instance has checked out."

"Every single instance."

"Every single one. Almost 150 personnel. But that's not all."

"That is enough to at least raise flags, but what else do you have?"

"Specs."

"Specs? What specs?"

"Specs for bioneural circuitry, alien technology my future self came across, and as I told my father when I explained it to him, the most important spec of all is Voyager herself."

"Voyager."

"An Intrepid class Starship. Maximum cruising velocity of 9.75. Runs on bioneural gel packs. She was under my command – or will be."

"And you have her specs?"

"For the last four months, my father and I have run countless scenarios on all of the specs I have. They check out. Voyager could fly today if she was built. The alien technology could be incorporated into every Starship in the fleet."

"Based on the evidence given today, I will agree that you most likely encountered some sort of temporal incursion. Do you have any clue what happened to send you back?"

"Precisely what happened. Or as precise as one can be when dealing with temporal mechanics. After a year of attacks by a Krenim vessel, I set a collision course and rammed Voyager into the heart of the vessel. The vessel was equipped with a technology that caused it to be out of temporal sync. It had weapons that could alter history. My deduction is that when I collided with the vessel, it reset history much farther than the one year I had anticipated. I also believe because I was so close to the temporal core I kept my memory of the intermittent time."

"Fifteen years of intermittent time." One of the lesser Admirals muttered.

"The Temporal Prime directive stands. With your father in his position, you could've just had him use your specs to build Starships. There must be something else. Why have you informed us exactly?"

"Because I know of major atrocities that allow me to bypass the Temporal Prime Directive."

The Admirals paled. They had been expecting it. Every Star Fleet officer understands the importance of the Temporal Prime Directive. To usurp it, means unmatched catastrophe.

"Tell us then. But I must warn you that if we find that the reasoning is not sound, you will be charged with breaking the Temporal Prime Directive. Is that understood, Lieutenant?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I see my father give a slight nod for me to continue.

"There are three foes that I need to address. One we know of. Two are currently either completely unknown or whispers that go unheeded. The known entity I need to bring up is the Cardassians."

The looks on the faces around the room show no surprise. Every deal made with the Cardassians is a deal with the devil.

"In 2370, the Federation will sign a treaty with the Cardassians. The treaty creates new border lines. Our concession is the Dorvan system. Without Federation protection, the Cardassians will annihilate the system. They will incinerate almost 100,000 people."

The disgusted looks of the Admirals, I know, will only get worse as I continue.

"Every citizen of that system who wasn't planet side at the time, as well as those who simply support the border colonies, will create a resistance movement called the Maquis. They will fight the Cardassians as well as any Starfleet vessel that tries to stop them. I left before war occurred, but the fighting was an almost certain prelude."

"What do you mean you left?"

I look slightly askance at the question. I completely forgot to tell them. "Voyager was pulled into the Delta Quadrant – 75,000 lightyears away. I was there for over three years when I encountered the Krenim."

"I'm assuming this is where the specs for the alien technology came from?"

"That as well as the other two foes. As deceitful and immoral as they are, the Cardassians have nothing on Species 8472 and the Borg."

"Borg."

"Yes, Admiral Thomas. I understand you are aware of a Temporal Incursion that involves the Borg and 21st century Earth. I also know that very little is known about it seeing as most of the information has technically not been logged yet. They are relatively unknown, correct?"

"Just that they are powerful and brutal."

"The Borg are a collection of drones. I won't dare call them a species. No, they are not that at all. Borg drones will stick tubules in your neck and assimilate you. All in the search for perfection. They have no problem with killing billions of people. A member of my Voyager crew was a rehabilitated drone. They assimilated her when she was six years old. She knew nothing but the hive mind. They work like bees, you see. Each drone follows the orders of the queen. They have transwarp capabilities. They are highly adaptable. One shot from a phaser, and that phaser will no longer affect any other Borg drones."

"How long do we have before they become a problem?"

"In my future, they attack Wolf 359 in 2367. We lose 37 ships and 11,000 people."

"Oh my God."

"After we encountered them, my senior staff started working on a way to combat the Borg. It won't be quick, but I feel like we will be relatively prepared if a team is assigned to work proactively."

"What did you come up with?"

"There were a few ideas tossed around. Two that I believe will have the greatest likelihood of success are transphasic torpedoes and a neurolytic pathogen. The first would be able to affectively be used more than once by continuously changing frequencies. The second would disrupt their hive mentality and disable the drones."

"The third, and potentially most brutal, enemy is a species designated by the Borg as Species 8472. When Voyager rescued our drone crewman, the Borg was at war with Species 8472. They belong to fluidic space. I believe if we thwart the Borg, they will not disturb Species 8472. Thus they will not come out of fluidic space. Failing that however, I must warn you. They have the ability to appear as human as you or I. They are literally one with their vessels. Because of this, they are almost impossible to destroy. In the war against the Borg, they were winning. With the help of the Borg, I do have the specs on a weapon that will destroy Species 8472, but I hope we never have cause to use it."

"I believe I speak on behalf of this council when I say that I highly doubt you will be brought up on charges. We will spend the next week in the holodeck looking over your simulations. I believe it is most likely that you will hear from me within the month about appearing before the Federation council."

"Good work, Lieutenant. Admiral. You are both dismissed."


	10. Chapter 10

The walk to the transporter was met with silence and a sense of accomplishment. As soon as we walk through the front door, however, the three people who hadn't attended the meeting assault us with questions.

Simultaneously, my father and I both stick our hands in the air to halt the questions.

"It went as well as could be hoped for. Katie did a great job."

"Admiral Thomas told me to expect a call from him. He thinks I'll present in front of the Federation council within the next month. Knowing the council, it will be closer to two."

"That's great Kathryn." Chakotay grabbed me up in a hug. I know he had sensed my mood right when I walked through the door.

"I'm very pleased myself."

Chakotay kisses the top of my head before letting me go. Before I am completely out of his arms, I feel my mother and my sister surround me. They could all see how ragged I was getting with worry that the council wouldn't listen to me.

"I'll give you some time to relax now that the stress is over for a moment." My mother says while taking my father's hand and leading him towards their bedroom suite. I know my dad is about to tell my mom about the two week leave he decided to take that starts tomorrow. I think a trip to Lake George is in their very near future.

"I was about to leave sis, but I wanted to hear the news from you. You still coming to the gallery opening in two days?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world, Phoebe."

Chakotay leads me to the living room where we both sink into the couch. I lean my head into his chest and take up our normal position. His heart beat is calm under my ear just like it was that first day.

"I love you, Kathryn."

I look up and cup Chakotay's cheek. It's the first time I have heard those words from that voice since New Earth.

"I'm glad. I love you so much."

Chakotay gives me a tender kiss before softly placing my head back against his chest.

"Will you marry me?"

This time I stand. His eyes show a fear that is endearing, and I know exactly what I want to say in that moment.

"Of course I will, but I want to do something else first."

Chakotay grabs me around the waist, hoists me up, and starts towards the stairs and down the hall to my bedroom.

Before Chakotay can get carried away, I cup both sides of his face.

"Two things."

Chakotay nods. His heavy breathing is telling me to hurry.

"This of course, but before I marry you, I want to go to Trebus."

I see the fear in his eyes and the pain just as I know he sees my determination. I open my mouth to speak again, but before I can he agrees.

"Okay."

And with that he places his mouth against mine and lowers me on to my bed.


	11. Chapter 11

Trebus is beautiful from the spaceport. I remember seeing it after the Cardassians got a hold of it, and it makes me sick all over again to think about the level of destruction.

"Your home is beautiful Chakotay."

"This planet is beautiful, but it's not my home. My home is even more magnificent." For a moment I think he's talking about Earth and I am about to disagree with him. That's when I notice the look in his eyes that suggests he was talking about me."

"You must like things hot then." I mutter.

Chakotay's laughter makes me replay what I said.

"I meant hot headed. My temper."

"Yes, of course."

I feel the final seconds of landing then take his hand and smile.

Ten days after I talked in front of the Admirals, I was informed that I would go in front of the Federation council eight weeks from that date. Two days later Chakotay sent a subspace message to his mom telling her he was coming home to visit. I kissed my parents goodbye, and two weeks later, here we are.

The rings on our fingers are simple bands with a delicate carving of Chakotay's tribal tattoo surrounded by two small stones. When he slipped it on my finger the night he proposed he told me that his mother had given them to him on his 15th birthday to signify his manhood.

Chakotay retrieves our luggage while I go to speak to the Starfleet contingent on Trebus about reloading supplies.

The padd exchange takes about ten minutes. When I finish, I head to our prearranged meeting place. I round the corner and see Chakotay with two older people who are quite obviously his parents.

I'm stunned by how beautiful Chakotay's mother is. She's much narrower than Chakotay with thick, silky black hair that falls to the very bottom of her back. Her eyes are lighter than Chakotay's but equally soulful.

When I see Kolopak, I see Chakotay. His eyes, his dimples, and his posture are the exact same.

I slowly make my way towards the group. Chakotay didn't inform his parents that he was bringing anyone. I asked him to multiple times, but he said this is how he wanted to do things.

Since I was the one who wanted the trip, I agreed.

I touch his right elbow with my left hand bringing my ring inadvertently into focus.

"Chakotay."

Before he can respond, his mother grabs my hand.

"Daughter?"

"Mother, I would like to introduce Kathryn. She will be my wife in three months."

"You leave the land of your fathers for ten years, Chakotay. Instead of just returning, you also bring us a daughter. Contrary indeed."

I can tell Chakotay is about to say something that he should probably think on before speaking aloud, so I interrupt.

"It is nice to finally meet you mother and father. The trip made me tired, and I'd like to go home now if we can."

"Of course, daughter."

Yatzil takes my hand and leads me towards the village.

Though their names are Kolopak and Yatzil, Chakotay told me to call them mother and father. Before we made it to Trebus, I wasn't comfortable with the idea. But I see so much of Chakotay in them both that I can't help but want to acknowledge that they are family.

"Welcome home children." Yatzil says with a flourish as she opens the front door.

The living room is quaint and filled with beautiful weavings, woodwork and sand paintings. It looks nothing like my parents' home in Indiana or my Starfleet apartment in San Francisco, but it feels like home nonetheless.

"It's beautiful."

"We are blessed to live here. Yatzil does the weaving, and I work with wood and sand."

"It is almost like I remember it father." I see in Chakotay's eyes the same look I get whenever I see my childhood bedroom in Indiana.

"You two sit while Daughter and I get something to drink."

I wish I could hear Chakotay's first conversation with his father in close to eight years, but I know he needs to do it on his own. Yatzil understands the same thing. So we give our men space.

"I am glad you have come daughter. May I ask you a question?"

"Anything."

"You made Chakotay come here, didn't you? I don't mean to say that he isn't happy being here, but we both know he is too stubborn to come on his own."

"I told him I wouldn't marry him until we came to Trebus. I want all of my parents at my wedding, and I sensed Kolopak wouldn't come until Chakotay made amends. And you wouldn't have come either because you would've stood behind your husband's decision."

"I did something similar when Chakotay was in the Academy. Kolopak only went to San Francisco because I told him I would not be a proper wife until he made an effort to seek out our son."

We both laugh at the absurdity of it all. In the other room are two men who love each other. Two men who are incredibly similar. They just haven't communicated well.

"I am glad you are stubborn daughter. I see a peace in Chakotay that I have never seen before, not even when he was a young child. Before you walked up, I was trying to figure out what was different. Now I know."

I smile at how similar those words are to something Chakotay told me on New Earth.

"The feeling of peace is mutual. He completes my spirit."

"I am glad to hear that daughter. I will be pleased to see my son and my daughter unite their souls."

Yatzil places her hands on my face and brushes my hair back from my forehead.

"We have given the boys enough time for apologies. I fear if we give them too much time I won't see Chakotay for another decade. Your father knows how to aggravate my son."


	12. Chapter 12

Yatzil and I quietly make our way back to Kolopak and Chakotay.

"I am sorry that I was stubborn father. So much time has been wasted."

"All things come together as they should."

Chakotay and I had agreed when I told him that we would never tell Kolopak about the travesty that befell Trebus in my future. Without that knowledge, I don't know if Chakotay ever would've apologized. Come here, yes. Owned his part in the discord, I don't know.

"Indeed they do, my husband."

"Daughter, has your mother been telling things that she should not?"

"We have both been on our best behavior, father."

Chakotay and Kolopak are seated in opposite sofas when Yatzil and I sit the drinks down on the handmade table. I quickly take my seat beside Chakotay as Yatzil sits beside Kolopak.

"Chakotay has been telling me about your upcoming nuptials. They are to take place on your family's farm?"

"Yes. In Indiana. Momma and daddy wouldn't hear anything else, and I find it easiest just to agree when they get like that."

"Daughter, you are very wise."

"And my parents are very stubborn." I glare at Kolopak and Yatzil to show that they are included in that assessment. They both laugh good-naturedly, but Kolopak nods his agreement.

"Indeed. Stubbornness is not a bad trait necessarily. But always when it is combined with pride."

The poignancy of the moment is transformed into an acceptance that would've been there for years if the two parties hadn't been too stubborn to recognize it.

"This is more like it." Yatzil intones. "Is there anything we must do for the wedding, children?"

"No. My mother and Aunt Martha have everything well in hand. My aunt has no children of her own, and my sister is only 18 and unmarried. My mom is very excited."

The tone of my voice changes half-way through when I remember how excited my mother was when I showed her Justin's ring.

"What is wrong, daughter?"

"I was just remembering something."

I want to say more because I know they will inevitably find out when they come to Earth for the wedding, but I can't make myself continue. Chakotay takes the tightening of my hand as a sign that I want him to continue for me.

"Kathryn was engaged before. Her fiancé died in a crash on an ice planet. She was ejected from the shuttle and had the opportunity to save either her father or her fiancé. After she rescued her father, she tried to no avail to save Justin."

"I am sorry, daughter. I can feel your spirit's loss."

"Thank you father. If it hadn't been for Chakotay, I would never have found peace."

Kolopak and Yatzil nod sagely.

"Our soul recognizes immediately another soul that can ease our suffering."

I am glad to hear Yatzil say that. Many of my friends and family have been shocked and sometimes hostile because they can't understand how I could move on from Justin so quickly. My trip into the future has been classified. The information is only allowed to be shared on a need to know basis. Since I can't tell people the truth, they feel like I am making a rushed decision.

"Our people put very little measure on time, daughter. One woman may grieve for a lifetime. Another might find peace quickly. It is more for the spirits to decide." I had learned that Kolopak is into his culture much more than Chakotay, but he speaks about the spirits with a reverence that surprises me.

"You, my children are tired. Son, take our daughter to her room and allow her rest. We will talk again tomorrow."

"Yes, mother. May the spirits offer you both peaceful slumber."

"And you, too, my children."

Chakotay stands up before offering me his hand. Hands entwined we walk towards Chakotay's childhood bedroom.

When the door shuts, Chakotay pulls me close and whispers in my ear, "I was fifteen when I left Trebus. I have never made love in this room."

"Well, we can't have that, can we?" I say before I pull Chakotay's head down for a passionate kiss.


	13. Chapter 13

I wake up in the morning to an empty bed, so I dress quickly before heading toward the kitchen. As I open the bedroom door, my nose meets the bitter smell of coffee. Picking up my pace, I am expecting to see Chakotay. Instead, I find Kolopak.

"Chakotay said that I needed coffee ready if I expected to live to see another sunrise." He says as he hands me the coffee mug.

I'm disappointed that Chakotay isn't the one handing me the cup, but I am glad to see that Chakotay got his sense of humor from his father.

"I would've let it go today. I'm fair like that. Tomorrow, however..." I say while wagging my finger.

"Your mother is the same way with her tea. I almost didn't get a second date because I didn't have the correct blend."

"Did you have the correct blend the second time around?"

"Of course I did. And every day since."

"You and Chakotay are very similar, father."

"Too similar at times, I think. There is love, but our relationship has been wrought with miscommunication. With you helping your mother mediate, I feel confident in our ability to avoid future distance."

"Where are Chakotay and mother?"

"They are at Anam."

"Anam?"

"It is a large rock a mile away from the village. Villagers go there to connect with their spirit guides. Yatzil took Chakotay today so she could apologize to the spirit world about how long her son has been away. Tomorrow, he will probably take you."

"I would like to go."

"You are leaving the morning after?"

"Yes. I meet in front of the Federation Council in five and a half weeks and must prepare. The transport takes two weeks to get back to Earth."

"The Federation Council. That sounds important. What are you presenting?"

"Specs and a couple of items regarding defense I'd like to see instituted for the future."

"I feel that there is much mystery about you, daughter. I will be pleased to learn of the woman who has stilled the Angry Warrior."

A gleam in Kolopak's eyes makes me think that he knows more than he is letting on.

"Do you know something, father?"

"Only what the spirits have allowed. I know that you have saved many condemned people, and that my son has saved you."

"You are wise, father. And hopefully you are also correct."

"The spirits have said it is so. And they know far more than you or I."

"Your mother and Chakotay should be here soon. It is already midmorning, and they left before dawn."

"Midmorning? I must've slept for over twelve hours."

"You need the rest. Help me prepare the meal."

I laugh for a few seconds before I realize he is serious.

"Father, I can't cook. Chakotay has to make my toast."

"I will be patient."

"I hope you have backup food."

Kolopak teaches me how to make fry bread. Mine is slightly blacker than his, but he seems pleased with the effort. After the fry bread is finished we slice cucumbers, tomatoes and goat's cheese.

We are placing the last of the food on the table when I hear the front door open. Chakotay and Yatzil enter the dining room smiling.

"It looks wonderful, father."

"Thank Kathryn."

"Kathryn? You did this?"

"I only helped. Your father was very patient."

Though, when I look at the plate of fry bread, I notice that my burnt pieces are suspiciously missing.

"Don't let her fool you. I did very little."

I give Kolopak a smile to show that I know what he is doing.

"Thank you daughter. I am famished after the hike to Anam and back."

Chakotay comes forward and gives me a quick kiss before sitting down and filling his plate with the offerings.

As we eat our lunch, I get to know my new family more.

"Kolopak and I met when we were babies, but I didn't like him much. I only said yes to his picnic because my friend wanted to go with Kolopak's friend. Then he forgot to bring my tea."

"But the rest of the dates worked out well, Yatzil. Obviously." Kolopak moves his arms as though to encompass the whole room.

"Yes, they did. It was our first spirit walk together that made this possible." Yatzil repeats his encompassing gesture.

"Your first spirit walk?"

Kolopak doesn't seem to be surprised that I don't know much about spirit walks since Chakotay pretty much forgot his heritage a decade ago.

"Many couples will go on a shared spirit walk to introduce their animal guides to each other. When Yatzil and I entered for the first time, my spirit guide knelt at her animal guide's feet then proceeded to give him a bath."

"His spirit guide showed me that our relationship would be fulfilling and loving. I have not regretted a day with him since."

"We will go to Anam tomorrow, Kathryn. It is much easier to experience than to describe."

"For today, you should probably introduce her to members of the village." Kolopak suggests.

"I wish your sister was here, but she left for Dorvan V two weeks ago on business. I am sure she will be at your wedding though." Yatzil adds.

"We will be back for dinner. Mother. Father."

Chakotay spends the rest of the day introducing me to every person in the village. The children are mostly interested in my hair. The members of the tribe have hair ranging from dark brown to black. My waist length auburn hair is a novelty.

After a long day of introductions, we eat a quiet meal before retiring for the evening.

Once in bed, Chakotay turns to me. "Thank you for suggesting this, Kathryn."

"I knew it would be good for you. I wouldn't have wanted to come otherwise. Besides, you just doubled my family."

"I mean it. I could've lived my whole life without making amends. In the spirit walk today, the spirits told my mother about what you saw. She knows how close Trebus was to destruction."

"Your father said something this morning."

"Ten years. That is all they would've had left. I know in my heart that no matter the circumstances, no matter the outcome, no one will leave Trebus."

"I got that feeling today. I also got the feeling that the spirits have shared the message with quite a few villagers."

"Our vision today showed Trebus as nothing but dust. Then it reversed to what Trebus is today. The only difference was a woman with hair like fire sitting cross-legged in the center of town. They know more than just the destruction. They also know the reason the destruction won't occur. They are thanking you."

"Is that why so many people made comments about my hair?"

"Yes. You saved my people, Kathryn. You saved my family."

"That's another thing father said. I saved people, but you saved me. He is right. If Voyager would've happened, my guilt would've been so heavy that you alone could ease my burdens."

"The Angry Warrior will always ease the burdens of the Woman Warrior."

I lean over and give Chakotay a soft kiss before placing my head over his heart and go to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

"Kathryn? Kathryn?"

I awake to darkness and Chakotay's soft voice.

"Kathryn, you need to get dressed so we can make it to Anam in time to spirit walk before the sun rises too high in the sky."

Just a couple days on Trebus surrounded by his people has made Chakotay sound more spiritual.

Before I answer, Chakotay sticks a mug of hot black coffee under my nose.

"Your clothes are already laid out for you."

"I love you, Chakotay."

"I love you, too."

Chakotay helps me sit up. I can see his excitement so I do something I absolutely hate doing – I rush my cup of coffee.

I quickly dress, clean my teeth and grab a fruit and some fry bread on my way out the door.

The walk takes a little over 30 minutes because Chakotay and I keep stopping to look at the early birds taking their first flights of the day.

I see Anam for the first time as I make my way to the top of a hill. At the lowest point in the land is a flat rock face touched everywhere by the early morning rays of the sun.

Chakotay takes my hand, and leads me to Anam.

Chakotay sits me beside him and spreads his medicine bundle in front of us.

"Yesterday was the first time I saw this bundle in 10 years. After today, I'll help you make one of your own."

Chakotay places my hand on the Akoonah and begins to chant.

 _A-koo-chee-moya. We are close to the sacred places of our grandfathers. We are being nourished by the lands that hold the bones of our people. Perhaps there is one powerful being who will embrace the two halves of this soul and give us the answers we seek_

 _When I open my eyes, I am shocked by what I see._

 _"_ _Voyager. This… this is my ready room on Voyager."_

 _"_ _I can see why you are proud of her."_

 _"_ _When we were on Voyager, this is exactly where we were sitting when you showed me how to contact my animal guide."_

 _"_ _We like symbolism, Kathryn."_

 _"_ _Hello, my friend."_

 _"_ _Do not be so shocked, Chakotay. You have shown Janeway many things. She has been to our plane many times. Barring yesterday, she has been here much more recently than you."_

 _"_ _You, you're Chakotay's animal guide?" Crouched before me is a magnificent gray wolf. Her eyes are yellow, the same color as my animal guide's eyes. "I have seen you before."_

 _"_ _You have seen my animal guide?"_

 _"_ _Yes. Only, I didn't know she was your animal guide. The first time I met her, she almost ate my animal guide."_

 _"_ _The first time we met were under less than stellar circumstances. The Borg alliance, remember?"_

 _"_ _Of course."_

 _At this point, my animal guide is resting between Chakotay's animal guide's ears._

 _"_ _Your eyes are the same." Chakotay makes the same observation I made the first time I saw his animal guide in my vision._

 _"_ _Eyes are the window to the soul." My guide spouts sagely._

 _"_ _We are tired. Take Chakotay on a tour Kathryn."_

 _We make our way through the decks. I bombard him with stories of our journey. Every room we see holds so many memories._

 _The last place I take him is my quarters. As we walk through to the bedroom, I see that my bathroom door is open. When I peak in, I almost cry._

 _"_ _What's wrong, Kathryn?"_

 _"_ _That bathtub is not a part of Voyager. We were stranded on a planet for almost three months. Just me and you. The second day there I told you about my love for baths. A week later you showed me this tub. You made it for me."_

 _"_ _I'm glad you seem to like it."_

 _"_ _On the planet we never got to enjoy it together. Can we do that kind of thing in a spirit walk?"_

 _"_ _We can do anything in a spirit walk."_

 _With that I walk over to the tub and fill it up._

As I surface, I expect to be dripping wet from the bath water, but I am perfectly dry and back in the clothes I was in when I left this morning.

I turn to see Chakotay looking slightly stunned.

"I am glad we did this today."

"Kathryn, I have never had anyone be visited by my animal guide before. I feel blessed by the spirits to have you here with me."

He leans over and tenderly kisses my lips. We then both get up and make our way back towards the village feeling peacefully subdued.

We enter the house to find Kolopak and Yatzil sitting in the living room. Chakotay and I take our seats facing them.

"It appears that the spirits were kind to you today."

Chakotay looks at me, smiles and then replies.

"Kathryn realized today that she has seen my animal guide before."

"Indeed." Kolopak replies.

"Her guide and my guide share eyes."

"Chakotay!" Yatzil exclaims making me feel like I have missed something.

Kolopak sees my confusion and chastises Chakotay. "Did you not tell Kathryn what it means if your guides share eyes?"

"Like your guide said, 'eyes are the window to one's soul.' Their eyes are the same."

"Their souls are the same."

"It's what many people on Earth would call soulmates, but it is much deeper than that. No matter the plane of existence, we are only complete with the other."

"I already figured that one out Chakotay."

I give Chakotay a kiss that probably isn't for polite company, but our experience with our spirit guides was intense.

"Son, daughter, there is to be a farewell festival for you this evening. Rest for a couple hours because the party will go until dawn."

"I did only get one cup of coffee this morning." I joke before I do as Kolopak suggests.


	15. Chapter 15

I wake up once again in darkness. The crisp night air coming through the open window makes me hope that part of this festival is a bonfire.

I get up and dress in a blue dress that I replicated based on a pattern I wore on New Earth. As I slip my shoes on, Chakotay walks into the room dripping water from his recent shower.

"You can't stay out of the water today, can you?"

"The water experience in the vision quest didn't get me clean. Besides, this is the first tribal festival I have attended in a decade, with my wife-to-be no less. It's a special occasion."

Chakotay dons his leather pants and a loose cream top.

"Children, the festival is starting. It would not do to have the guests of honor be late." Mothers are the same everywhere.

We enter the living room to find Kolopak and Yatzil already there. Kolopak is dressed in a similar fashion to Chakotay. His pants are closer to tan and his shirt is darker than Chakotay's. Yatzil is wearing a maxi dress that is pure white. The contrast between her dark hair and skin and the dress is magnificent.

"Mother, you look stunning."

"You make me proud, daughter. The dress is very nice with your skin and eyes."

I see Chakotay rake me over at the same time as Kolopak is busy looking at Yatzil. I have stopped being surprised at the similarities I find in these two men.

"Come on children."

I am about to take Chakotay's arm when Yatzil intercepts. "Come daughter."

I look back for a second at Chakotay before doing as I am told.

"This festival will begin by blessing your future union. Normally a daughter of the tribe would be brought by her parents and then leave on the arm of her intended. Since that won't work, I'll just have to be a stand in."

"I am pleased to be brought into the folds by you, mother. You birthed the other half of my soul. You are more my mother than mother-in-law."

"So I am, daughter."

I can see that my words please Yatzil, not that that is my intent. I truly mean every word.

After a few minutes I realize that I am being led to Anam.

I hear Chakotay from a few steps behind me say to Kolopak, "a festival at Anam. It is very important, indeed."

Answering my silent inquiry Yatzil says, "a festival is held at Anam only when honoring something or someone whom the spirits have blessed. You, your union to my son, has been seen in many vision quests. The tribal leaders believe it to be blessed. As do I."

The last few minutes to Anam are in silence. The sight that greets me is almost more magnificent than the one I saw early this morning. The full moon is reflecting off the polished rock creating the appearance of the sky on the ground. It is like a crystal clear lake that can be stood on.

The tribal leader begins his speech knowing we have arrived without ever even looking our way.

"We stand on this land given by the great spirits. For generations, our ancestors wouldn't rest until they found the place blessed by the spirits. On a night much like this, generations ago, a lone warrior made his way to Anam. As he saw the sky reflected on the rock, he knew his tribe's journey was at an end. It was now time to rest."

"Anam is a sacred place to our people. A portal to worlds beyond our comprehension. It is a place of blessing and understanding. Tonight we honor the future union of two kindred souls. Just this morning they sat at Anam and walked together in the spirit realm. Just this morning, Kathryn realized that Chakotay's spirit animal had been walking in her vision quests during trying times. Just this morning, Chakotay recognized that their spirit animals had the same eyes."

Silence had been reigning, but a loud whisper carries on the wind when the last sentence is told.

"All those who walk the physical world hope to meet a soul that is the same as theirs. Kathryn and Chakotay have done the impossible. Through that, they have saved each other and all of us."

"The sacred blessing of Anam on the lady with fire in her hair and her Angry Warrior."

"Anam." Everyone replies.

Yatzil takes me from the top of the hill to the center of Anam. Three paces behind me, Kolopak is leading Chakotay in much the same manner.

Yatzil drops my hand before cradling my face in between her palms. "Anam, my darling daughter."

Kolopak leans in and whispers something to Chakotay before kissing his cheek. "Anam, my son."

With that Chakotay turns to me and places both hands on my shoulder. I place my hands over his heart.

"My Woman Warrior, you still raging rivers and calm infernos. The spirit world sings of your triumphs. I am blessed in the knowledge that you will soon be my wife. Anam to you, my love."

"My Angry Warrior, you bring calm through your contrary ways. The ancestors set you in my path to protect me from all harm, including myself. With you I am safe. Anam to you, my love."

Once again all those congregated speak at once. "Anam, mighty warriors."

The rest of the festival is filled with people coming up in small groups offering blessings and advice.

The advice ends just as the sun rises on Anam and is reflected on the faces of the tribal members. Beside me, Chakotay puts his hand behind my head and pulls me in for a searing kiss. I can feel the eyes of the tribe behind us, but I can't help but respond.

As we turn, I see a family. One that Chakotay ran from for a decade. I can tell in his eyes that he sees the same thing. I take Chakotay's hand and put our fingers together before softly saying, "Anam."


	16. Chapter 16

Leaving Trebus was hard. For me and Chakotay. The two weeks we spent transporting between Trebus and Earth turned into three and a half when we decided to take a vacation at Risa. We stayed in a home owned by one of my father's friends, so we were away from everything that makes Risa terrible to me.

After ten days of nothing but skinny dipping, talking and walks on the beach we had to head home.

As soon as we landed I had to get straight to work. Admiral Thomas, my father and I worked 14 hours every day preparing for the Federation Council.

Today, I go before them and have to answer any questions they have about why I broke one of the most cardinal rules in the Federation.

When I walk into the official chambers flanked by Admiral Thomas and my father I am shocked to see the Federation President herself.

Standing at the podium, we wait to be addressed.

"Fleet Admiral Thomas, Vice Admiral Janeway, and Lieutenant Janeway, the floor is yours."

"Federation dignitaries, I am sure you have all reviewed the information sent to you two months ago about a temporal event. That event and the subsequent actions taken by one Lieutenant Janeway made me call you together. I open the floor for questions. You may address any of us."

The first question came from the President herself. "Lieutenant Janeway, in your words, why do you believe your experience qualified as a loop hole for the Temporal Prime Directive."

"The Temporal Prime Directive was established as it stands today almost one hundred years ago by the United Federation of Planets. The events I became aware of are enough to destroy the Federation. Without a Land to govern them, laws are useless any way."

"Can you discuss the Borg with us please?" One of the Andorian Ambassadors asks.

"Certainly. The Borg began hundreds of thousands of years ago. They are cybernetically enhanced and work through collective thought. There is no thought of life when they assimilate whole cultures. If a cybernetic virus sweeps through a cube, the queen is willing to destroy the cube as well as the thousands of drones on it without a second thought. I cannot stress enough there utter lack of emotion when murdering or assimilating. They have no morals or priorities unless it is in regards to achieving perfection. They have six transwarp hubs throughout the universe. These hubs have apertures allowing the Borg to appear anywhere in mere moments. Seven of Nine, the Borg I rescued on Voyager, told me that there are seven apertures within one lightyear of Earth alone. There are hundreds throughout the Federation. And the Borg believe they are unstoppable. Before they assimilate they end a lengthy diatribe that ends with 'resistance is futile.' That is their mentality, and I can say without a doubt that it isn't an empty threat."

"And Species 8472?"

"They are resistant to Borg assimilation. As I said to the Admiralty council, 8472 was beating the Borg in war. In minutes, they can destroy whole planets. They could wipe out the Federation within a matter of weeks. They are destructive to the point that as Captain of Voyager I made an alliance with the Borg because they felt like the more trustworthy option."

"You told the Admiralty that there is a cure. We saw the specs, but something was missing."

"We did develop a way to beat them, but there is a major problem. The only way we found to defeat 8472 was to modify Borg nanoprobes. Do any of you have nanoprobes lying around?" I am met with hundreds of head shakes. "If the Borg attack it will only be necessary to get nanoprobes from a few drones. I feel confident in our scientific ability to adapt with that first step."

"The other thing you mentioned was the Cardassians."

"I mentioned a treaty. I mentioned mass murder. I mentioned an inevitable war. I mentioned things that you don't even need my future to believe the Cardassians capable of. In my timeline, it happened a decade from now in 2370. Of our 150 members, 87 disbanded from the UFP by the time I was pulled into the Delta Quadrant less than one year later because of the fallout from the Cardassian treaty."

"Over half of our members left within a year."

"As reason for leaving they all read along the lines of the UFP not being trusted to protect them. Most of your home worlds are member of the Federation for the added safety and trade benefits. If those two things are compromised, how many of your worlds would leave the Federation? I would guess the answer to be a majority."

"You've given this council a lot to think about. Admiral Thomas, I believe there is something you would like to say."

"Lieutenant Janeway, on behalf of the Federation, I hereby grant you the rank of full Commander. When we start building Voyager in 18 months, I hope you'll be her Captain. Until then, you will head the Borg preparedness department. Since what you have said here is still need to know, the official name is the Defensive Preparedness Department. See you Monday, Commander."

With that, he puts a pip in my palm and leads our way of the chambers.


	17. Chapter 17

As my father and I make our way to the transporter room, I feel a sense of déjà vu. A little over two months ago, we met before our first council. After we finished speaking, we walked in silence only to be bombarded once we walked through the door.

This time we make it to the transporter and are beamed to the front lawn. My father turns to me and takes me in his arms for long moments.

"I'm proud of you, Goldenbird."

"I couldn't have done this without you."

"Our family's probably waiting, but I need to do something first."

With that, my father takes the pip from my hand and places it with the other two on my neck.

"Very nice, Commander."

"Lead the way, Admiral."

No one meets us at the door, instead we find them all sitting in the living room. I quickly remove my boots and sit on the couch with my feet curled under me.

Chakotay leans into me in order to whisper in my ear. "I guess I can't expect you to serve under me anymore, Commander."

"I think I can defer to your tactical expertise, Commander." I smirk up at him.

"Everything went well at the council meeting. I was surprised though. The Federation President was there."

"Who knew my sister was in such high circles?" Phoebe jokes back.

"I answered all their questions, but the biggest surprise came from Admiral Thomas."

"Well don't keep us waiting, Katie." My mom chimes in.

"First he promoted me to Commander. Then he told me they would be giving me Voyager in a year and a half."

"You'll be the youngest Captain in Starfleet history."

"24. I didn't get Voyager the first time around until I was 35."

"This has been a year worth celebrating." My father says.

Glancing at Chakotay, I know he is right. Only four weeks stand between us and our wedding date.

Which reminds me, "Kolopak and Yatzil are leaving Trebus on Friday?"

"It is traditional to spend a week together as a family before the wedding. Rites of passage and such things."

"That's not a problem is it, momma?"

"Of course not dear. I'm very excited to meet them. As I'm sure they are me and your father."

"I spoke with them on subspace yesterday. They are excited to meet my parents of this land."

When Chakotay asked momma and daddy if he could call them parents by his traditions, my momma warmed to it right away. By the end of five minutes, Chakotay was calling her momma, and she was responding. My daddy was a harder sale. They settled on dad for him because neither men were comfortable with daddy.

"Daddy, I think you and Kolopak will be matched in will. Yatzil is very endearing mother. She reminds me of you."

"Let's eat dinner then, and you can tell us all about them."

Dinner is filled with stories from Chakotay's childhood and our recent trip. We decided not to share Anam with them. It is my hope that we will all travel to Trebus, and they can experience it for themselves.


	18. Chapter 18

Two and a half weeks later, Chakotay and I are standing in San Francisco waiting for Kolopak and Yatzil to make their way to the spaceport.

"Mother. Father." Chakotay yells beside me when he spots them. His added height seems to have given him an advantage in the crowded spaceport.

"Children." Yatzil exclaims as she quickly hugs us both.

"I have not made that journey in many years, children."

"We can go home and rest now father. My other parents are excited to meet you." I can tell Chakotay is just as excited to introduce the two pairs.

"The feeling is mutual."

With that, I take Yatzil's hand and Chakotay sidles up to his father. We take them to the Starfleet personnel transporter room so we don't have to queue.

I give the attendant the coordinates for my family home in Bloomington, Indiana, and place Yatzil on her pad.

"It is disconcerting, that feeling. I have only been transported twice before." Yatzil says as we materialize. Sometimes I forget about Trebus's disregard for modern technology.

"This is a beautiful home, daughter. Your parents must be proud."

"Just blessed. Come, they are waiting inside."

I lead them to the living room. My mother and father are in the two chairs leaving the couch and the loveseat open. When we enter, they both stand.

"Mother. Father. I would like you to meet my momma, Gretchen, and my dad, Edward." Chakotay's introduction is warm and loving.

"I am Kolopak, Chakotay's natural born father, and this is my wife Yatzil."

"It's nice to meet you both." My mother hugs the newcomers while my father tries to opt for handshakes. Instead, Kolopak and Yatzil give him brief hugs.

"We are family, Edward. If love cannot be expressed amongst family, who can express it?"

I can tell Kolopak's words give my father pause. He is an affectionate husband and father, but he is militant in other areas of his life.

"Indeed."

"Chakotay. Kathryn. Take your parents' bags and put them in the guest wing. They must be tired after their long journey." Yes, my momma is a lot like Yatzil.

We reenter the living room to find our couch is empty, so we curl up and listen to the conversation.

"My daughter, Sekaya, will be here in three days."

"I am ready to meet my new sister. If she's anything like Phoebe, she'll be ready to tell a bunch of embarrassing stories about Chakotay."

"I'm scared about how they will be when they get together. Sekaya and Phoebe are very similar."

"Two Phoebes?" My mother blanches.

"Two Sekayas?" Yatzil jokes.

We talk and laugh for close to two hours before Kolopak and Yatzil are shown their room.

"Good night mother and father. I am pleased about how well you got along with momma and daddy."

"You have their spirit. I had no doubt that we would get along."

"Good night children. May the spirits offer you both peaceful slumber."

"To you as well."

Chakotay and I make our way to our room before falling into an exhausted sleep. Chakotay had been worried about the meeting and finding it difficult to sleep. His anxiety and constant tossing and turning means that I found it hard to sleep as well.


	19. Chapter 19

Today, I will be marrying Chakotay. I think about the fact that Voyager could've taken a lifetime to get back. My sense of command and the pain over losing Justin would've made a relationship with Chakotay impossible. Now I will get to marry him surrounded by both of our families.

The last week has seen my two families learning about each other and preparing for today. When Sekaya arrived four days ago, I realized Chakotay wasn't lying about how similar she and Phoebe are. They have been nearly inseparable since.

…

I get out of bed and head toward the kitchen for some coffee.

"How are you feeling, Katie?"

"Wonderful. Excited."

"Not nervous?"

"Not at all. I know that I'm doing the right thing."

"Yatzil was just in here, and she told me to hurry you along because we have one more tradition to complete before the wedding."

I drink my coffee and eat a slice of toast before being led to the backyard by my mother.

Sitting there, exactly as I remember it, is my bathtub.

"My tub." I say before I notice a steady stream of tears spilling down my cheeks.

"It is a wedding present from Chakotay."

"In our culture, it is tradition for the families to prepare the bride and groom. As your two mothers, it is our job to wash you before the ceremony."

I would normally be more embarrassed, but I decide to just remove my robe and slip into the tub.

The contours on my back remind me of the vision quest Chakotay and I shared at Anam. This tub was built to be shared.

The bath is gentle. Yatzil and my momma wash me with oils I know came from Trebus. When my body and hair smell of the oil, Yatzil brings two towels. With my mother's help, they dry me completely.

The rest of the morning is spent getting hair and makeup done by Phoebe and Sekaya before slipping on my wedding dress.

At a quarter to one, I make my way down the stairs to begin the service.

As the music plays and my family take their places on the two sides of the aisles with the rest of the guests, I feel a peace wash over me that I felt for the first time when Chakotay held me in his arms during the plasma storm on New Earth.

The music changes, and I am taken on the arms of my two fathers to meet Chakotay at the end of the aisle.

When I catch my first glimpse of him, I stop moving for a second. He is dressed in brown pants and a loose fitting white silk shirt. But the thing that stops me short is the tattoo gracing his forehead.

We finish our journey down the aisle, and my fathers hand me to Chakotay. For a second, we just stare at each other. I take the index finger of my right hand and trace along his forehead. "You look beautiful, my Angry Warrior."

"Only in your love and peace, my Woman Warrior."

I can feel from the guests the shock of how strong our love is. Only those closest to me and some of the Admirals present know the extent of our story. For everyone else, there has been fear that I am making a mistake. Today, I only feel happy acceptance.

Admiral Thomas performs the Federation part of the ceremony before handing it over to Kolopak to perform the tribal rites.

 _We are far from the sacred places of our grandfathers. We are far from the lands that hold the bones of our people. Even so, we ask the spirits to lend their light and power to nourish this union. Like a sapling that asks for protection from the winds and rains, so we ask protection today to create a great tree._

 _For my children, I ask for guidance and peace. May they find in each other the other half of their soul._

With that, Chakotay slips the ring on my finger and allows me to do the same.

"My Woman Warrior, you have been a guiding arrow through the battles I face and the battles yet to come. You have given me safety and protection. You have welcomed my family as your own. It is a great warrior who knows how to use words and love to win battles. You are a great warrior. The rest of my days will be spent by your side. Whatever the new sun brings, it will be brought to us both."

"My Angry Warrior, you have held me through the darkest times. Like a beacon of light, you have shown truth and love into the blackest recesses of my spirit. You have promised to ease my burdens and serve faithfully alongside you. Today I pledge the same. Whenever the moon rises each night, it will be with the knowledge that we spent another day together."

Chakotay put his forehead against mine.

"I love you, Kathryn."

"I love you, Chakotay."

The kiss we share is the sweetest one I have ever known. When we stand side by side, I see that most of the female guests are crying. I clasp his hand and walk down the aisle – ready to begin the rest of my life.


	20. Chapter 20

The next 18 months pass quickly. I am heading the Defensive Preparedness Department. Chakotay became a part of the group at the beginning as a tactical expert.

Starfleet isn't big on allowing couples to serve together, but in my instance, I am the expert. And, I know I need Chakotay with me.

…..

I turn the program over today and take over Voyager. She has been given the greenlight to go on a shakedown tour.

While I headed the Defensive Preparedness Department, my father was in charge of overseeing Voyager and implementing fleet wide changes based on my specs.

I have toured Voyager a handful of times, and she's exactly as I remember her. As per my request, her first tour will be monitoring the Cardassian DMZ and the Badlands.

"We need to hurry, Kathryn."

"I'm coming. I was just thinking."

"We can't have you doing that."

"Very funny mister."

Chakotay and I beam to Voyager together. For the next two years, he will head the Defensive Preparedness Department. I want him with me, but I know the best way is for us to be in charge of as many aspects of my plan as possible.

The tour ends on the bridge where Admiral Thomas gives me my fourth pip and turns over command of Voyager.

By midmorning, the only people on Voyager are techs and the Senior Staff. The rest of the crew is to arrive by noon tomorrow.

"Welcome to Voyager. Our first mission will be monitoring the DMZ and the Badlands. As the fastest ship in the fleet, Voyager is unparalleled in the research she will be able to collect from the Badlands. Today, I would like you to continue getting to know Voyager. Any questions?"

"Captain, is it true you designed Voyager?"

I hate having to take the credit from those who rightfully earned it, but as per the terms of the Temporal Prime Directive, it is impossible to tell them anything about the other timeline."

"My father, Admiral Janeway is the head of design. He and I together worked to create Voyager."

"As first officer, I was wondering if you could elaborate on the specifics of our mission."

"As much as I can, which isn't much. Intelligence believes that there is an imminent threat posed by the Cardassians. Imminent being within the next decade. For many that may seem like a long time, but ten years isn't long when trying to prepare for war. Not much can be told to those without a level 10 clearance, I am sorry to say. We are simply to monitor our side of the lines while also collecting data about the Badlands."

"If there are no more questions… Dismissed."


	21. Chapter 21

_February of 2363_

The next two years are spent monitoring movements. By the end, I can safely say that the Cardassians are the same in this timeline as my other future. After months of patience, we found their weapons cache just within our border.

The Cardassians had built a state of the art facility within our space close enough to the Badlands to disrupt scans. To know that they had been planning for war long before the Treaty was signed makes me sick.

Over the course of the last two years, I have only spent a couple weeks every few months with my family. As it stands, I haven't seen Chakotay in four months.

"This is McKinley station. You are clear to land, Voyager."

"Nice and easy lieutenant."

After my crew has all disembarked, I beam down to Starfleet Headquarters to talk to Admirals Thomas and Paris.

"Go right in. The Admirals are waiting for you." Thomas's aide directs.

"Good afternoon, sirs."

"Captain Janeway. We both just finished going over your final report. Through all the information you have given us over the last few years, I was hoping the Cardassians would be different. To know how much they had done right under our noses makes me angry."

"In my timeline, the peace talks begin in two years. I assume this weapons facility is why they wanted to renegotiate territorial lines."

"I think I agree with that assessment. That much weapons power, and they wouldn't even have to head to Cardassian territory to retrieve it."

"They are a military race, and their morals are limited. I'm not shocked by their deception. I'm just glad that we caught them this time. No matter what I have told the Federation, without proof of Cardassian misdeeds, I feel like the council would've gone ahead with a treaty anyway."

"I think you are right, Katie. The Federation's founding principal is peace." Admiral Paris agrees with a nod of his head.

"I know you are ready to see your family, Janeway. You are dismissed. Be back at headquarters bright and early Monday to start debriefs."

"Aye, Admiral. It was good seeing you both."

I walk into the kitchen of my family's Indiana home and see a sight I have sorely missed over the last two years.

"Well isn't this quaint."

Sitting around the small table are my parents, my sister and my husband. In front of them are mugs of tea and coffee. A big platter of brownie sits in the middle of the table.

Chakotay stands up and kisses me like he is trying to make up for the last four months.

"Chakotay, don't suffocate my daughter the day she gets back."

"Sorry, momma."

Chakotay leads me to the table and pulls out the seat beside him.

"It's good to be home." I say as I grab a caramel brownie.

"You're home for six weeks?"

"Debriefing for six weeks before I head back out on Voyager. But we are staying a lot closer to Earth for the next few years. Mostly making milk runs and carrying dignitaries. Our first trip is to the Dorvan system. I have asked if I could bring a couple important guests. If you are interested…"

"Of course, Katie. I haven't seen Kolopak and Yatzil since they came over a year ago for Christmas. Put in leave Edward."

"Yes, ma'am. I guess I'm coming, too. I would like to see them again. And to see Trebus."

"I'm a part of the invited?" Phoebe asks, looking slightly unsure. At my nod, she continues. "I'll bring my sketch pad. I have a feeling this place is beautiful."

Chakotay and I both nod dazedly. Trebus is beautiful, almost more than words can describe.

….

That's why when we land almost seven weeks later I love seeing the look on Phoebe's face. My momma and daddy seem to be finding it just as hard to catch their breaths at the sights surrounding them.

"Come momma. Come dad. My parents' home is along this path." We trudge towards their home and see the door open just as we approach.

"Come family. I understand you probably require respite. There is tea in the kitchen. And some snacks as well."

"Tonight, there is a celebration, so we will take the afternoon easy."

"Anam?" I ask.

"Anam, daughter." Yatzil responds.

The rest of the day is spent catching up before Kolopak tells us all to prepare for the celebration. It is a warm spring night on Trebus, so I decide to wear a mid-sleeve red dress. Yatzil, my sister and mother adopt similar styles in light orange, emerald green, and lilac respectively.

Kolopak and Chakotay are dressed alike in dark pants and cream colored tops. My father's pants are khaki, and his short sleeve shirt is white.

We all walk together to Anam in silence. I am ready to see how my parents and my sister react.

When we reach the peak of the hill, we stop.

Everyone is mesmerized like I was the first night I saw Anam reflecting the moonlight.

"This might be the most beautiful thing I have ever seen." Phoebe whispers. I understand the urge to be quiet. The peace is heavy, and there is a feeling that loud speech will be disrupting.

"This is Anam." Kolopak pronounces.

"Come so we may begin the festival." Yatzil encourages.

Much like the first time, the tribal leader begins with an unseen knowledge that we have arrived.

"Anam is a sacred place to our people. A portal to worlds beyond our comprehension. It is a place of blessing and understanding. Tonight we honor the family of Chakotay. The union was blessed many moons ago, perhaps before our ancestors were even aware of Anam. Perhaps before this plane began. The last few years have been spent in preparation. Today, we are celebrating this place of the spirits who have led Kathryn. She has given Anam's people hope and breath. She has heard the prayer carried on the winds and has answered its call. Anam."

"Anam."

This is the first time my family has met the majority of the tribe, and it is also the first time many of the tribe have seen Chakotay since he took his forefathers' mark.

Many greetings are shared throughout the evening. We are regaled with tales of the spirits' workings.

I hear one near the end of the evening of the Coyote, and I think of Tom Paris.

"The coyote is cunning. He is the master prankster. Many people are weary of him and try to lead him astray, but those people do not understand the true heart of the coyote. For the coyote is the most giving of spirits. Coyote brought fire to our people when all other spirits were too afraid. When the fire was lost, his cleverness alone brought fire back to life."

I make a note in my head to visit Tom at the academy when Voyager gets back to Earth.

"The sun is rising at Anam. Gaze at the majesty, and then depart to your homes so the spirits may rest."


	22. Chapter 22

The next three months are spent doing nothing more than dropping off supplies and equipment to outposts and transporting dignitaries throughout the Federation.

We are now back on Earth for two weeks. I have set up a meeting with Tom Paris who just finished his second year at the Academy.

"A Cadet Paris is here to see you, ma'am."

"Send him through."

I decide to conduct the meeting in my father's office. On Voyager, Tom and I had multiple conversations about the pressure we felt as Starfleet brats. It was one of the first things we bonded over. I want him to realize that he isn't any different than me.

"Sit down, Tom. Can I get you anything to drink?"

"Not right now, sir."

I try not to cringe, but I know I am unsuccessful when I see Tom's face.

"Cadet, despite Starfleet protocol, I don't like being addressed as sir. Captain will suit me just fine. And ma'am will work in a crunch."

"Yes, ma'am."

"It's not crunch time yet, Mr. Paris."

"Sorry, Captain. Is there a reason I was asked to come here today?"

"Yes, there is. When you graduate, I want you to fly my ship. Since this term is ending, I'd like you to come aboard for three months as pilot before next semester begins."

"What vessel?" I can see in his eyes that he thinks I probably Captain a barge or old pile of junk.

"Voyager. We leave on Stardate 40395.4 (May 25). We will spend time cataloguing the Badlands."

"Would I be an observer?"

"You would be a crewman. You would work duty shifts just like every other crewman on Voyager."

"Deal."

"There are a few rules first." Tom nods to show he is listening.

"First: if you make a mistake, no matter how small or how big, you report it to me immediately. Second: you are to follow procedure. I got special permission to have you on my ship before you graduate, and I will not have you make a fool of us both. Third: I want you to make a holoprogram of Sandrine's.'

"I can do that, ma'am." Tom's cheeky grin tells me that he knows he is pushing it.

"You are to report to Voyager at o six hundred. Dismissed."

"Thank you, Captain."

"Oh, and Tom, welcome aboard."

Two hours later, Owen sends me a comm telling me that Tom hasn't stopped talking about Voyager. And he thanks me once again for helping him fix their ailing relationship.

I head towards home to have a long anticipated dinner with my family. I haven't seen them since they changed transport after Trebus.

When I enter, I hear voices coming from the living room. There I find my family as well as the Parises.

"Captain?"

"Tom."

"You're Captain Janeway?"

"I thought you knew that. We did meet in my father's office after all."

"I thought maybe he was your Academy advisor or something."

"Or something is more like it."

"Then I'm very excited to pick your brain. I have been working on specs for a shuttle, and I'd like to run them by you."

I get giddy at his words somehow knowing that what he is proposing is most likely a rough draft for the Delta Flyer. We had just started working on specs when we met the Krenim. Most of the work, Tom had said he thought up years earlier for one of his classes at the Academy.

"Of course. I like a Cadet who has initiative."

If I had made this offer six months ago, I think Tom would've been angry thinking I only asked him because of who is father is. As it stands, I think he's just glad to be doing work that his father is proud of.

"The Parises came home for dinner and a little work. And I do me little, Edward."

"Yes, Mrs. Janeway."

My momma's cheeky grin vanishes when my father says 'Mrs.'

"Don't start with me, Admiral." When my mother glares, Elizabeth giggles at the mens' faces. Like deer in the headlights.

Tom and I make eye contact across the room. He gives another glance towards the scene then rolls his eyes.

He makes me think of a mixture of the Tom Paris I knew and Voyager's green ensign, Harry Kim.

I see an innocence that was gone from my Tom Paris, but I see his normal cunning whirl beneath the surface.

We spend the evening discussing mostly work with a splash of Starfleet gossip.


	23. Chapter 23

For my birthday, Chakotay takes me to Lake George for two weeks, until I have to go back to Voyager.

"I'm going to miss you, Kathryn."

"I'll miss you, too, Chakotay."

"It's three months. Subspace is horrible at best near the Badlands."

"But then we are staying close to home for eight months. You should be able to see me every weekend."

"Three months will be a lot of time to make up for."

"I think I can set aside some time in my busy Captain's schedule."

"I was hoping you would say that. It might have to be a lot of time."

"Captain's prerogative to take as much time as needed."

"I'll remember that when you get back."

"I'm looking forward to it."

"You really need to beam up, Kathryn. The rest of your senior staff is set to beam up in 15 minutes."

"I know. It's just so hard to leave you. I feel like so much of our marriage has been spent apart."

"It has been. But when we are older, and our parents are telling stories to our children, we will look at your dad and my parents and see that they are alive. We will see a smile on momma's face and no signs of the grief lines you saw after she lost your dad. We have to sacrifice now."

For a moment I am struck by his words. Was it not Chakotay who told me he wouldn't sacrifice today for a tomorrow that may never exist? But he is right. This future that he is talking about is one worth sacrifice.

"I look forward to that day, Chakotay."

Chakotay and I haven't spent much time discussing children, only that we would like to have them. Ever since New Earth, I have had fantasies about Chakotay being a father to my children.

"Me too."

"I have to beam up now?"

"Unless you just wanna say 'to hell with Voyager.'"

"Probably not the best idea."

"Probably not."

"Okay. This is me calling for a beam out."

Neither of us move for a few seconds. I tilt my head up and look into Chakotay's eyes. He takes two steps and draws me into a kiss.

"I really will miss you, Kathryn."

"I know."

I rub my face into his chest inhaling deeply, take a step back, and call for beam out.

…

"Welcome aboard Mr. Paris."

"I'm glad to be here, Captain."

"Have a seat."

As soon as Tom Paris beamed aboard, I told him to drop his bags off in his quarters before reporting to my ready room.

Now he stands before me with an excited youthfulness.

"I want you to look over something." I say as I hand him a padd.

"Duty shifts?"

"Yes."

"I'm –"

"You're what, Mr. Paris?"

"I'm on Alpha shift. You put me on Alpha shift."

"I did. I trust that you are as good as they say you are."

"Better."

"I'm glad you're so confident."

"You know my dad, Captain. If you show any aptitude, he will push you for the rest of your life."

"Indeed. A great quality for an advisor. Not always the most fun for a father."

"You sound like you're speaking from experience."

"My father is Admiral Janeway, and my mother is Dr. Janeway, the leading Terran Mathematician of our day. My sister opened her first studio when she was 16."

"And you're the youngest Captain in Starfleet history."

"Through hard work and a lot of luck."

"I'm glad you asked me to come aboard, Captain."

"Tom, I do want you to understand one thing. I will watch you like a hawk. Everything you do. You are to meet every expectation I hold for the rest of my crew. I have faith you can do that, but if at any point you do not, I will take you off duty shifts for the rest of our sojourn. Is that clear?"

"Yes, ma'am. Believe me when I tell you that there is nothing I would like more than to meet your expectations than to maybe bypass them."

"I have faith you can do just that. How about we meet in the mess hall tomorrow for dinner, and you can show me your shuttle specs?"

"It's a date."

"Dismissed Cadet."

…..

For three months, Tom and I meet for dinner after Alpha shift to work on the specs. The final project definitely speaks of Tom's love of the 20th century. There are modern day controls as well as a joystick.

"I think it's good, Tom."

"I think she could fly."

"When we get back to Earth, you can show them to my father."

"She needs something first."

"What Tom? I can't think of anything else."

"The most important thing, Captain. A name."

I know it's foolish of me, but in my mind, this project started for me in the Delta quadrant.

"How about the Delta Flyer?"

"I like it. Maybe one day, she might fly there. She's definitely sturdy enough."

"That she is Tom. We dock tomorrow. Have you had your post-mission physical?"

"I just came from there. Actually, the doctor might have mentioned to me that only one crewmember hasn't made an appearance to Sickbay."

"Dr. Toran can keep his pips on. I'm headed there right now."

"Good luck, Captain. Toran is in a grouchy mood."

"Probably just because you were with him, Tom."

"If you weren't married and my Captain, I would think you were flirting with me."

Instead of replying, I just give a coy smile and leave the mess hall.

…..

I enter Sickbay to see Dr. Toran with his arms crossed and his foot tapping in an irritated rhythm.

"It's nice to finally see you Captain. I don't know how someone can completely avoid Sickbay for three whole months, but clearly you have."

"I just came for my physical."

"Biobed 1."

The doctor prepares his medical tricorder while I take a seat on the biobed.

In silence, he takes his readings from top to bottom.

"Have you experienced anything out of the usual Captain?"

I can't tell if this is a serious question of one Toran asks everyone.

"Nothing that I can think of."

"No tiredness, nausea, anything like that."

"Again, not that I can think of."

"I must tell you I'm surprised that you haven't noticed anything out of the ordinary. According to these readings, you are three months pregnant."

Before I can say anything, Toran checks his results with a different tricorder.

"It's not a malfunction, Captain. You are definitely three months pregnant with a healthy fetus."

"Thank you, Doctor. Other than that, how does everything check out?"

"You are perfectly healthy Captain. Though, now that we know, I will make out a nutrition guide for the next six months."

I just nod and get up to leave.

"And one more thing, Captain. No coffee."

Again, I nod before exiting Sickbay.


	24. Chapter 24

"Chakotay!" I exclaim as soon as I see him.

We stand in the middle of Starfleet grounds embracing like we haven't seen each other in three years instead of three months.

"I knew I would miss you."

"I missed you, too."

Chakotay leans down to give me a soft kiss. We both know that we need to get home before we can kiss like we want to, so we start moving.

"How did it go with Paris?"

"It was great. He's a wonderful pilot. We also finished the specs for the Delta Flyer."

"Delta Flyer?"

"That's the name I gave the shuttle we designed."

"I see. Anything exciting happen while you were out there."

"Something exciting happened, but it wasn't out there."

"You've only been home five minutes. How can something exciting have already happened here?"

"It hasn't."

Chakotay turns to me and takes me by the shoulders.

"Care to explain."

"Something exciting happened, but it was before I left. You see, I had successfully avoided Sickbay for three months before I had to get the physical to lift our ships quarantine. You know how it is when you want to go planetside after you've been in space."

Chakotay nods. I can see his patience dissolving.

"So I got my physical, and Dr. Toran was asking me some strange questions." Chakotay tightens his hold on my shoulders and looks like he is about to say something.

"Don't be concerned. He was just asking if I felt any different than normal since I'm three months pregnant."

"You're pregnant?"

"Yes. We're going to have a baby."

Chakotay picks me up and spins me in a tight hug.

"So instead of eight months, we'll only be out there five. Then Voyager will get a temporary Captain. I'm going to try to see if Tuvok will do it."

"We have to tell our parents. Which reminds me, mother and father surprised us yesterday with a visit."

"Do you think they know anything?"

"Perhaps. They haven't said anything, but my father especially is very close to the spirits."

"Let's go home then."

When I see my house in front of me I get an idea. Before we enter, I whisper in Chakotay's ear and throw myself in his arms.

"Momma, I found a couple puppies outside and have decided to keep them. One of them bites. I don't know about the other one. Is that okay with you?"

"Two puppies? What do they look like?" She shouts from the living room.

"I'll let you see them. I'll bring them to the living room."

"I only see one puppy, Chakotay. Is the other one hiding somewhere?"

"They're both here, momma. One's just very small at the moment."

Chakotay puts me down and places a hand over my abdomen.

"Kathryn?"

"Yes, momma?"

"You're having a baby?"

"Yes, momma."

"Oh, Kathryn!"

For a woman in her fifties, my momma moves very quickly. Before I know what's happening, I am enveloped in her arms, soon to be followed by my father's, Kolopak's, and Yatzil's.

Cupping my cheeks she asks in rapid succession, "How far along? Do you know the gender? How long are you taking maternity leave? When are we going to have your baby shower?"

I can tell she will keep going if I let her. "Momma, will you give me some time to answer your questions?" She just nods. "I am three months along. The conception date is the day after my birthday. I didn't want to find out the gender until I told Chakotay, so no on that front. I am taking a month's maternity leave before the baby arrives and six weeks after. We can have the baby shower at the beginning of my leave. Anything else?"

"Can I brag to Elizabeth?"

"Since when have you needed my permission for that? Though I must warn you, her son just finished designing one of the nicest shuttles I have ever seen. She'll be wanting to brag, too."

"No mother would ever think a shuttle is better than a baby. Just watch Elizabeth try."

"Yes, momma. Mother, may I ask something?"

"Of course."

"Did you or father know? Did the spirits tell you?"

"No. They only told us to come to Earth, but they didn't tell us why. I must tell you that I am pleased daughter."

"So am I, mother. I am also very tired. Dr. Toran asked me two days when I had my physical if I had been overly tired. But I wasn't until last night. Now I feel like I could sleep for days on end."

"My grandson needs the rest, so he can grow to be a great warrior like his father and his fathers before him."

"Well, father, I guess I should give the Little Warrior what he needs. I know I just got here, and you are all excited about the news. But if I don't go to bed now, I will probably fall asleep on the couch."

"We understand Kathryn. I was the same way with you and Phoebe. Dinner will be ready when you wake up."

"Thanks, momma. Good night everyone."

Chakotay and I go to our room. He tucks me into bed with the biggest dimpled smile I have ever seen.

"I love you more and more every single day my brave Woman Warrior."

"I am ready to meet our Little Warrior and tell him the ancient legend of the Angry Warrior."

"Our son will be lucky to have you as his mother, Kathryn."

"I can think of no one else I would rather have as the father of my children, Chakotay. I love you from the deepest part of my soul."

"Sleep well Kathryn. Our son obviously needs it."

"Good night."

With that, I slip peacefully into sleep.


	25. Chapter 25

Five months pass quickly for me. The first doctor's appointment after I shared the news confirmed Kolopak and Chakotay's belief that I am carrying a boy. The feelings of contentment have grown steadily throughout my pregnancy. I am actually excited to be grounded for a while.

For the next ten weeks, I will not step foot off Earth. For the duration of my maternity leave, I am overlooking nothing but my baby and my husband.

As I stroke my belly to feel my son, the door chimes.

"Come." I say as I straighten up.

"Captain. It is pleasing to see you again."

"Tuvok. It has been too long."

"I have heard you have been busy in the interim."

I look down at my belly thinking married thoughts before seeing the Vulcan equivalent of gentle chastisement on Tuvok's face.

"You have gone before the Federation Council, designed a starship, been married, and yes, became pregnant, since the last time we saw each other."

"Indeed." I say borrowing a favorite word of most Vulcans. "Are you ready to captain my baby?"

"No. But I am ready to captain your ship."

Tuvok's joke catches me off guard. And people say Vulcans don't have senses of humor…

"If I wasn't about to pop, no one would be laying hands on Voyager. As it stands, I trust you more than anyone else to do this."

"I am gratified Captain, and I hope to live up to your expectations."

"Of that I have no doubt."

With the help of my desk, I haul myself up to stand across from Tuvok.

"Computer, transfer command codes to Commander Tuvok. Authorization Janeway Maquis Alpha one two six."

" _Authorization confirmed. Command codes transferred to Commander Tuvok_."

"Now that the business is done, I am glad to see you old friend. Did T'Pel come with you?"

"Yes. She needed to come to Earth for business, so it was logical for us to travel together."

"She's coming to my baby shower?"

Tuvok merely gives a brief nod.

"I'm glad. I hate to leave so soon, but Chakotay is waiting to take the mother of his child home."

"It is not solely a human reaction. I was very protective of T'Pel for all of her pregnancies. It should not be any other way."

I smile before grabbing my things and heading to the transporter room. My crew has already been briefed on the change of command, so I don't have to worry about informing anyone.

Waiting for me when I materialize is my increasingly protective husband. With less than a month left until my due date, we are both being more cautious.

"Hey, sweetheart."

"How are you feeling, Kathryn?"

"Like a shuttle running on reserve power. Emphasis on the shuttle."

"You look beautiful."

"I look like I should have my own gravitational pull."

"You look like you are nurturing a child. Our child."

The look on Chakotay's face is so open and loving, I can't say anything negative in response.

"Can we get home?"

"Our parents are expecting us."

As soon as we found out we were with child, Chakotay began looking for a house all our own. Within a month, he found a home about ten minutes from my parents' home in Indiana. While I have been on Voyager, he has been getting everything exactly how we want it – including the transport of my tub into the master bathroom.

I have only spent small amounts of time there whenever Voyager is orbiting Earth picking up supplies or passengers. I am ready to be home for more than a day or two at a time.

"Then we can go home?"

"Then we can go home. I have a surprise for you there."

I chuckle at Chakotay's ploy.

"That just makes me more antsy about getting there."

"I know."

With that, Chakotay leads me to my parents' front door.

"Katie. Let me look at you. You've gotten so big the last three and a half weeks."

"My lower back has been keeping me apprised of the situation. Also the fact that I need help to get out of a chair."

"How are you really?"

"Overall, I'm fine. I feel slightly swollen, but mostly I'm just glad to be home."

"Your baby shower is in two days. Kolopak and Yatzil are arriving tomorrow afternoon and staying until the birth. By the looks of things, I don't think they'll have long to wait."

"Me neither. He's been shifting a lot. He moved down, so I can finally breathe."

"Yes, well, he's just excited to get here. Why don't you and Chakotay get your seats at the table? Your father should be here any minute."

Chakotay places his hand on my lower back and leads me towards the table just off the kitchen.

"I can give you a massage when we get home since your back is hurting."

"That would be heavenly. It's just a lot for my body to adjust to. I have no equilibrium whatsoever."

"We'll get to meet the little guy who's been making it so difficult on you pretty soon."

Chakotay's smile is infectious, and before I know it my hands are covering his on my abdomen. And we are wearing matching smiles.

"I would ask how my Goldenbird is doing, but if that cheesy grin is any indication…"

"I'd stand up and hug you daddy, but I don't think you have five minutes to wait there."

My dad walks over and gives me a hug and kiss.

"I've got some news about the data you sent me."

Two weeks ago, I had the idea to encourage Starfleet participation amongst non-Terrans. Chakotay's story inspired me, and I proposed to send representatives to Federation worlds and associates. Instead of the usual tactic of obvious recruitment, the idea is to tell what they love about Starfleet.

"Quite a few Cadets have stated your program as the reason they decided to join."

"That's wonderful. I hope it's enough. I can't force anyone to join, but I'd like them together."

"You've done great work. We'll just have to wait and see. We still have three years."

"Because I'm patient."

My mom enters the room to our laughter.

"What's so funny?"

"Katie made a joke about how patient she is."

"She wants things at warp 10."My mom replies with a snicker.

"I'd settle for warp 9.9."

"Considering everything you've accomplished already, I wouldn't consider it a fault." Chakotay says.

"I guess not. But I can't tell you how much of my mind is preoccupied with my surprise."

"You don't have to tell me. I know. That's why I told you when I knew we would have hours before you could see it."

"That's just cruel."

"It was your mom's idea."

"He showed me your surprise, and I told him you would love it. I might have encouraged him to keep you waiting."

"And to think, I am giving you a grandchild."

The humor stops when my stomach growls.

"I think someone is ready for dinner."

"He's always ready for meal time. He's already like his father."

Chakotay is beaming until he picks up his fork and starts to eat.

"Have you two decided on a name yet?"

"Yes, momma."

"And?"

"And what?"

"What is it?"

"Oh, I'm not telling."

"And why not?"

"Maybe I should answer that one. In my culture, the name isn't shared beyond the parents until the child is born and presented to the waiting grandparents."

"Can I get a hint?"

"Now who's impatient Gretchen?"

"I only asked for a hint Edward. I can wait a couple more weeks. No problem."

"You may be able to wait that much longer for a name, but I can't wait any more for my surprise." I chime in.

"We need to be getting home anyway. It's getting late, and you have some busy days ahead."

We arrive home ten minutes later, and Chakotay takes my bag from our new air car.

"Surprise first, then we both need to go to bed."

Chakotay leads me to the room we decided would be the nursery and stands in front of the door. With a smile, he opens the door to my surprise.

Inside the room is a crib, rocking chair, changing table and dresser that I know without a doubt Chakotay carved himself.

"They're beautiful." I say through my tears.

"I made them with a mixture of woods from Trebus and Earth. That way our son is close to both of his homes."

"They're perfect, Chakotay."

"How about we go to bed, and you can look at them more tomorrow?"

I just nod and allow myself to be led away.

As I make myself comfortable, or as comfortable as one can be at eight months pregnant, I place my hand over Chakotay's heart.

"Thank you for being a wonderful father already."

"You are already a fierce and loving mother, Kathryn. Our son is lucky."

Looking into his eyes, I give him the only response I can before drifting off to bed. "Yes he is."

…

I spend the next day with my momma, Yatzil, Phoebe and Sekaya in preparation for the baby shower. Most details have been taken care of, so my day is relaxing.

I spend the evening cleaning my home and preparing for my babies arrival before falling into an exhausted rest.

I awake at 03:00 because my back aches and find I can't get back to sleep. The shower is set to start at noon, so I spend the time writing on a padd. When I found out I was pregnant, Chakotay and I decided we would both write down lessons on padds and give them to him when he turned 15. My list is extensive only getting longer by the day. I'm telling him things to do, things not to do, people he should and shouldn't avoid, and anything else he might need.

At 07:00, the whole family meets for breakfast at my parents' house since they are hosting the shower. When I enter the kitchen, Yatzil, my momma and I share a knowing look that the rest of the party is oblivious to.

"I think your son might be as contrary as your husband, daughter."

"I think you might be right, mother."

Noon arrives quickly. By the traditions of Chakotay's people, men and women are both expected to attend the shower. In total, there are 30 family and friends in attendance.

By one, the guests are immensely enjoying the party and I am finally finished opening the gifts.

"Chakotay." Kolopak's one word command brings Chakotay quickly in front of me to kneel before my belly.

"My son, today I will tell you the story of your ancestors. It is a story to be proud of. Many moons ago, perhaps before anything on this plane existed, the Spirits conceived the idea of our people. We were placed on the land of the Spirits and taught to cherish their gifts. When the Spirits told all men who cherished the land to pack up and leave this land, we moved from this land to the land of our people. When asked how we would know we had found our home, we were told to look for a sign. For generations, we travelled waiting for the Spirits to give us the promised sign. On Trebus, many lightyears from here, we found our sign in Anam. Trebus and the planets around her are blessed by the Spirits. They were set aside for those who cherish the land. Anam awaits you son."

As Chakotay leans forward to kiss my stomach I bend over in pain. Looking down at the ground I see a puddle forming between my legs.

"Kathryn?"

"I don't think Anam will be waiting much longer Chakotay."


	26. Chapter 26

Elizabeth Paris immediately calls for an emergency medical beam out, and I find myself at Starfleet Medical. Before I make it the rest of the way down the hall, both sets of parents, my sisters and Owen are beamed in. Elizabeth leads me and Chakotay to a room where he helps me out of my clothes and into a birthing gown. Halfway through the process, the searing pain of another contraction weighs down on me.

When I am dressed and positioned on the bed, Chakotay tells everyone they can come in.

"I bet that's a shower no one will forget anytime soon." Phoebe quips.

"Your speech was beautiful brother. Instead of tears, your son gave you a waterfall."

"My grandson is like both of his parents. Stubborn and contrary."

"Very funny." I begin before another pain rips through me. "Oh holy heaven!"

Elizabeth looks around before asking for everyone but Chakotay to leave.

"I'm just going to check how things are going. Want to tell me when the contractions started Kathryn?"

"I woke up at about 3:00 this morning, but they weren't like this."

"Your fluids were acting as a sort of barrier. Once they broke, you lost that barrier. I can give you pain medicine after I check your progress."

Elizabeth checks with a medical tricorder before checking with her eyes and hands.

"You're at seven centimeters, and your contractions are about three minutes apart. Would you like some medicine for the pain?"

"Yes, but don't give me any. I want to do this like a woman from Trebus would."

Chakotay smiles at me with love and devotion in his eyes, and Elizabeth simply nods.

"I wouldn't expect labor to last past this afternoon. I can bring everyone back in for a while if you like."

"Of course." I nod before focusing on the pain that is starting again.

As my family and Owen enter the room, my mother and Yatzil flank me.

"Mother, momma, I want you both in there with me. And you too, Chakotay."

"I'm glad you didn't forget about me, dear." Chakotay says full of sarcasm.

"I might've if your son wasn't torturing me."

"Why is he my son when he is doing something wrong?"

"Because I'm a perfect angel, and you are the contrary one."

"Perfect angel my foot. You just might be the most stubborn person I've ever met, my father excluded." He looks at Kolopak with a deep dimpled grin. The love between them makes me forget about the fact that the contractions feel like they are right on top of each other.

"He's got you there, Goldenbird."

"Edward talking about stubborn, that's a laugh." My mom says patting my arm.

"Let's just agree that the most stubborn woman married the most contrary man, and now they are going to have the next generation of stubborn-contrariness this family will have. I don't think anyone in this room wouldn't be classified as stubborn. Wouldn't you agree mother?"

"Wholeheartedly."

Most of the next hour passes in pointless chatter and excited conjecture about what my son will be like. Finally, at a quarter after five, I get an overwhelming urge to push.

"It's a boy." Elizabeth says as she holds him up for me to see.

"He's beautiful, Kathryn." My mom says as she rubs my sweaty cheek.

"Time of birth 6:03 pm. He's eight pounds-nine ounces, twenty two inches long." Elizabeth puts him on my chest.

"He looks so much like you, Chakotay. He's so handsome." I look into the face of my husband before he leans forward to kiss me. Before standing back up, he places a soft kiss on our son's forehead.

After I deliver the placenta and get cleaned up, the rest of my family comes back into my room.

"Hi, Littlebird." My dad's nickname for my son brings tears to my eyes. It's the same thing I have called him whenever I talked to my belly.

"Littlebird. You look like your father." After Kolopak speaks, I get the feeling that Littlebird will be a favored nickname for my son.

Chakotay picks up our baby off his chest and holds him in the air. "To our family, our parents, our sisters, and our friends, I present our son. A child blessed by Anam. From this day through eternity he shall be known as Edward Kolopak Janeway."

The smiles around the room are interrupted by the squawking of Kole. "I think someone wants his mother."

Chakotay hands him back to me. I put him on my breast and let him eat. The sensation is a lot more painful than I expected it to be, and Kole is a lot more voracious.

"Kole definitely eats like his daddy."

Chakotay leans forward as though to kiss my temple before whispering in my ear. "He certainly seems to like your breasts as much as I do."

"And he's just as rough."

"And your mother has excellent hearing." My momma says loudly.

"I didn't know you could get that red, son." Yatzil adds.

"I love some parental rubbing, but my patients really need their rest. Katie might like to see what it's like to sleep without a pregnant belly again."

"We'll see all of you tomorrow. Love you." I say as those congregated go back home.


	27. Chapter 27

I get my things together the next day, and Chakotay, Kole, and I beam to our house. In all my life, I can't remember feeling more exhausted. Giving birth was physically, emotionally, and mentally trying, but looking at Kole makes it all worth it. By my recollection, I have been waiting for over 40 years to have a baby. Delta Quadrant me would've been lucky to find a way home soon and hope for a baby, but I know I wouldn't have risked having a life, let alone a child, while I was captaining a Starship.

"Kathryn… Kathryn!"

Chakotay's voice brings me out of my musings.

"Yes?"

"You looked like you were a million miles away."

"No. More like 75,000 lightyears."

"I can't imagine that life. Everything we had both gone through. Especially not now, not when I see you standing there holding our son in your arms."

"I can, and it makes me sad to think about how much I loved you. But I couldn't jeopardize the possibility of getting my crew home by having an intimate relationship with you."

"It's okay, sweetheart. I can tell you what I was probably thinking. I probably looked deep into your eyes and knew. I saw through your Captain's mask and knew you loved me as much as I loved you. I promised to make your burdens lighter, and would've done my best to see that promise through. No matter where or when we are, know that I love you Kathryn Janeway."

"I love you, too. Now why don't you change our son and get him to sleep while I take a long overdue bath."

"Would you like me to bring you a cup of coffee?"

"I would, but no. The doctor still wants me to limit my caffeine since I'm breastfeeding. But thanks. If I'm not out in 45 minutes, I probably fell asleep."

"I'll check. Don't take much longer than that though. Our family is coming over tonight. And momma told me to tell you to be prepared to pose for lots of holos."

"Of course she did. It's hard to brag to her book club without some evidence of how precious Kole is."

"That's the reason she gave. Now go enjoy your bath. I'll take our son off your hands."

I hand Kole over to Chakotay and watch as he cradles him close to his chest. He bends down and kisses Kole's forehead before looking back up at me and giving a broad grin and a wink.

As I step into my hot bath, I feel like the most fortunate woman in the world. Not only do I have my daddy, but I have my soulmate and a beautiful son. It's hard to compare this present with the other timeline – the Voyager timeline.

I think about how it would've been had it all worked out like I thought it would. I was supposed to crash into that Krenim vessel and reset a year. Daddy still would've been dead. The Cardassians still would've decimated Trebus. And I would've been a lifetime away from home. Nothing significant would've changed. I never imagined the far reaching implications. Though I guess I should've. If Annorax could wipe out millions of years of history from Delta Quadrant planets, it's not so crazy that he could affect 15 years of my life.

I realize how deep I have been in my thoughts when I register how cold the water has become. I look up after I set the water to drain and see Chakotay leaning against the door frame.

"I was just coming in here to tell you to hurry up, but you looked so beautiful."

At this point, I am standing in the tub, ready to get out, wearing nothing. Chakotay grabs the towel off the wall and wraps it around me.

"Don't tempt me woman. Just know that if I had time and the all clear, I would not have covered you in this towel."

"If I would've had time and the all clear, I wouldn't have bathed alone. Now go start dinner while I get ready."

"This is just a rain check, Missus."

"I'll be sure to cash in when the weather is better. Now move. You wouldn't want our parents to go hungry."

I get dressed and made up quickly and head to check on Kole. As I look into the crib Chakotay made, I see Kole's blue eyes stare up at me. I take him from his crib, and he immediately roots around. While I nurse him, I sit in the rocking chair and talk to my son.

"Hello, my beautiful little warrior, my Littlebird. I have waited a long time for you. Ever since I met your father, I wondered what our children would be like. I imagined them being as handsome as their father, and you are. You are what I've always wanted. Though I do hope your eyes stay blue. Just so you look a little like me."

I am still rocking with Kole at my breast when I hear the door chime.

I make to stand when I see my momma and my mother enter the room.

"Don't get up on our account dear. We just came to take a few holos and dote on our only grandchild."

"Isn't he beautiful? He looks so much like Chakotay."

As we look down at Kole he gives a facsimile of a smile, and I see his dimples for the first time.

"Just like Chakotay." I feel a maternal pride swell in me as I think of the fact that I created this little human.

"I hope his eyes stay that color. We did have ancestors with blue eyes, so it is possible."

"Can I hold this little charmer?" My momma says already reaching for Kole.

As soon as she has him in her arms, his face scrunches up and my momma starts laughing. "He looks just like your daddy."

Yatzil and I both peer over her shoulder before joining her laughter. Kole looks just like when my daddy was telling the Cardassians about how we found their weapons depot – scrunched up and very serious.

"Whenever women are laughing together, I get worried. What's so funny?" In tandem we turn to my father before laughing harder.

At this point Kolopak leans towards the baby. "He looks just like you Edward."

When our laughter gets louder, the men in my family realize what exactly we were laughing about the whole time.

Before my momma can drop him, my daddy takes Kole into his arms.

"Don't let those mean women say anything to you. One more of you, and the men won't be outnumbered anymore."

"It's cute daddy. We were only laughing because it was uncanny. With those blue eyes and raised eyebrow, he looked like mini Admiral Janeway."

"That's a good thing. He was born with something that takes many Starfleet officers years to master – your mother's death glare."

"Edward…" The warning in my momma's voice only makes my daddy bolder.

"Mrs. Janeway? It may be called the 'Janeway death glare,' but I learned it from you my dear wife."

The humor around the room fills me with joy and brings me back to the other Kathryn. How much happier I am this time around.

"I'm starving. Kole eats more than a fully grown Klingon." I say when I feel my stomach rumble.

"Dinner's ready." Chakotay says as he puts his hand on my lower back.

Chakotay made vegetable biryani, and my momma brought brownies. The food is delicious, and the conversation is simple.

"I can't wait to go to my book club tomorrow."

"Gretchen, you've been in that book club for 12 years. Have you read any of the books yet?"

"Of course Edward. Why else would I go?"

"It could have to do with those holo images you've been snapping since we got here."

"The women like seeing holos. Besides, I'll have you know that I have read most of the books."

"Of course dear." My daddy shakes his head slightly, and everyone snickers.

"Where are Phoebe and Sekaya?" I ask.

"Phoebe took Sekaya to her art gallery. She's very interested in learning what types of art are prevalent here. She works with sand, wood and beads. Painting with oils and canvas isn't an art form much utilized on Trebus." Yatzil's answer doesn't surprise me.

"I have a good feeling that they will be swapping techniques then. Phoebe always likes to work with new mediums, and Sekaya will enjoy the challenge."

"You did say something about stubborn being a family characteristic, daughter."

"Yes, well, I'm ready to see what they come up with."

Both sets of parents look at each other before smiling slyly.

"It is time for us to leave children. You have a series of long nights ahead of you." Kolopak stands before extending his hand to Yatzil. My daddy does the same for my momma.

"Night Goldenbird. Give Littlebird my love." My daddy and momma both kiss my forehead before Kolopak and Yatzil hug me.

After everyone leaves, I decide to head to bed after putting Kole down. He wakes up every couple hours to be fed, and I wake up feeling more and more tired. I realize how long the next few weeks are going to be, and I'm glad I took extended maternity leave.

…..

Eight weeks pass in much the same manner. Since I had Kole so early into my maternity leave, I have nine weeks scheduled with him before I have to go back to Voyager. Today my family is heading to Trebus to introduce Kole to his tribe. This is the only Anam celebration that is not held at night. Being new life, it is held as the sun breaks through the darkness and begins lighting the sky.

We take Voyager to Trebus, and my crew is excited to meet the reason for my absence. Many of my crew are members I requested because they served with me aboard DQ Voyager. It's hard to know that I can't tell them why I requested them, but it is a great comfort knowing I am surrounded by people I consider family.

The trip to Trebus is short, and our stay has to be even shorter. I only have a few days before command is transferred back to me.

The night before the ceremony, both families stay in Kolopak and Yatzil's home. The close quarters means that everyone wakes up often. Before any of us realize it, we must depart for Anam.

It is still dark out when I hand Kole to the tribal leader. His wife takes ashes and traces out a copy of Chakotay's tattoo on Kole's forehead. The rest of the tribe forms a circle around my family and the tribal leader. As the sun peaks out over the horizon, the leader begins to speak.

"There is never a more blessed occasion than the birth of a new life. Edward Kolopak Janeway is a child of two tribes. Both tribes are loyal and blessed. He will be raised as a product of those tribes. Surrounded by love and protected by the Spirits. He will walk a path not lonely like many believe to be the fate of a child of two traditions. No. His road will be lined by both tribes leading him in the right direction. As the sun rises higher in the sky, so does his spirit rise. This beautiful land given by the Spirits, and protected by them through his mother will be the land of many of his peoples. Beneath a great tree on a planet far away, he will feel connected to the other half of his peoples. Edward Kolopak Janeway proudly wears the markings of both – the coals upon his forehead and his eyes shaded like dusk. Anam gives its blessing."

"Anam." I hear from all around. For the next hour, each member of the tribe comes up and touches Kole's forehead where the tattoo lies, gives their blessing, and departs for their homes.

My family heads for Kolopak's home as the sun is nestled fully in the sky.

The last ten weeks have been more than I could've hoped for, but there is much left to plan and much more to accomplish. As much as I will hate being away from my son, I have to return to Voyager.


	28. Chapter 28

Sitting in my daddy's office on Earth is weird after the last couple years. There have been very few opportunities to come back to Earth in the two and a half years since my son was born, but I have been waiting for this meeting for years.

"Cadets, take a seat. I want to assure you that neither of you are in trouble. That isn't why I called you here today. I actually have a proposition."

"What kind of proposition?" B'Elanna's temper seems to be worse now than when I first knew her on Voyager – which is kind of hard to believe.

"Cadet Torres, Cadet Kim, I want you both to be a part of my program. At the end of next term, I want you to both to be stationed aboard my ship for the three month interim."

"But we're only cadets, sir."

"I prefer Captain, Cadet Kim. And I know full well that you are both cadets, but I want you nonetheless. For the next two terms, I will be on Voyager and unable to monitor your process, but I want you to work under two people I am close to. Admiral Janeway and Commander Chakotay are heads of Starship and Shuttlecraft design and Defense respectively. According to your entrance exams, those two areas hold interest to you both."

"Why us?"

"I have seen in three short weeks you do things that some cadets take two years to accomplish. If you aren't up for the challenge, just say so."

"I'm up for any challenge. I'm a Klingon."

"Of course. Though I want to lay down ground rules. They are the same ground rules I set for the last cadet I offered a position aboard Voyager. Any mistakes made are to be reported to me immediately. If you have conduct unbecoming an officer, you are confined to quarters. You are to react with the same decorum I expect from all my officers."

"B'Elanna, in the three weeks you have been here, you have already been reprimanded for your inability to keep your fist away from another cadet's face. That behavior won't fly if you are working with me. Commander Chakotay is a prized boxer, and you will be working with him on understanding when fighting is acceptable. You will always be working with a good friend of mine, Commander Tuvok, on meditation."

"What if I say no?"

"Then you don't work on Voyager. Moreover you are a coward who can't accept a challenge. I believe you can exceed all my expectations, but if you are scared, say so now."

"Of course not, sir." The gleam in her eyes accepting my challenge to keep her nose clean dampens the anger I saw since the beginning of the meeting.

"Cadet Kim, you and B'Elanna will be working closely with Admiral Janeway and Commander Chakotay as well as each other. There is also one more person you will be working closely with."

I stop my diatribe to hit my comm badge, "Lieutenant Grieves please send in Ensign Paris."

"Ensign Paris is the first cadet I allowed on my ship. He is now my best pilot, and he will be your mentor."

As they each introduce themselves to the others, I consider how close these three were on Voyager and see the beginnings of the same here.

"I want you three to take the afternoon asking and answering any questions you may have for each other. Admiral Janeway will be contacting you soon. You are dismissed."

Before they can head for the door, my comm badge beeps, "Captain, Commander Chakotay is here."

"Send him in Lieutenant."

When the door opens, I am expecting my husband, but I don't expect him to have Kole.

"Mommy!" Kole rips his hand from Chakotay's and runs at me. I bend down and scoop him up.

"Hey, Littlebird."

"Daddy told me I had to wait until you came home, but then I started crying because I was so sad that I couldn't see your face. So he brought me over."

"I'm glad he did. I missed your face too."

I hug Kole close to my body and see Harry and B'Elanna looking at me slightly astonished. Most people in Starfleet accept that to move through the ranks quickly, you have to give up your personal life.

"B'Elanna, Harry, this is my husband Commander Chakotay and our son Kole."

At this Kole wiggles from my arm and moves to the group of Harry, B'Elanna, and Tom. He lifts his arms to gesture he wants to be held by B'Elanna, and I can see in her eyes that she doesn't want to do it. Before I can tell Kole to come back, however, B'Elanna hoists him up.

Gently touching her forehead he says, "I wish I had these. They make you really pretty."

"My mother has them as well."

"My daddy has something on his forehead too, but it isn't as cool as yours."

I can see the crush in my son's eyes as well as the fact that B'Elanna is fighting between being flattered and being uncomfortable.

"Kole, come over here so you can help mommy pack her things. When I'm done, we can go get pizza."

Kole quickly hops down and rushes to help.

"Dismissed Cadets, Ensign. If you have any questions, comm me or Commander Chakotay."

"I think they look excited Kathryn."

"I hope so. Harry and B'Elanna always seemed so young, but now they are little more than babies."

"They can be a big help to you though. Even this young, B'Elanna looks ready for a challenge."

"I gave her one. She has to meditate with Tuvok."

"That should be fun. Luckily Tuvok has plenty of patience."

"I'll be excited to see if his patience or her anger will win out. I have to say, I don't think I've ever seen B'Elanna blush before, but her cheeks were pink when Kole started complimenting her ridges."

"Everyone adores Kole."

"Mommy, can we get pizza now?"

"Yes, Littlebird."

B'Elanna and Harry have so long to go, but I think with the guidance I am offering, they will be equipped to handle the coming challenges. Kole's growth makes me sad that I have only been able to see him for about half the time he's been alive, but he has an amazing family that is growing every day.


	29. Chapter 29

"B'Elanna?"

"Yes, Captain?"

"Would you explain to me why you made these modification?"

"Because they increase efficiency by 1.7%." B'Elanna growls at me.

"B'Elanna, you need to learn to control your temper. I was asking because I wanted to understand your process. It was a brilliant solution, and I wanted to figure out how you arrived at your results. You need to stop fighting me."

B'Elanna and Harry Kim have been working under the tutelage of my father, Chakotay and myself for close to one year. In six weeks, they will both join me for a three month stint on Voyager. I think they are both more mature and capable now than either of them were the first year of Voyager, but they still have a lot to learn. While Harry is finding it difficult to create a broader comfort zone, B'Elanna is still struggling with her temper.

"Yes, Captain." B'Elanna sighs to me.

"B'Elanna, I made you a member of this family. As a member of my family, I only have your best interest at heart. I want you to accomplish more than I have and make a name for yourself."

"Yes, Captain." B'Elanna says again, only this time awe filled due to my obvious maternal protection. Being an adult it is hard for her to, for the first time in her life, have a parental figure interested in her life as she is.

"Harry, you and B'Elanna run sims for her modifications and check for every contingency. If either of you think of anything else, bring it to my attention. I'm here to guide you, so keep me apprised of your progress."

"Yes, Captain." they answer at the same time.

"My mom is expecting you both to be beamed over by eighteen hundred. If you miss Kole's birthday she won't let you forget it, not to mention how Kole will feel if you don't show up B'Elanna."

B'Elanna's blush is surprisingly vibrant against the tan of her cheeks.

"You know he named all his dolls and action figures B'Elanna, don't you. Boy, girl, humanoid, or animal, they are all B'Elanna."

"The Admiral and Commander didn't tell us that yesterday, no," Harry says trying to avoid giggling.

"It's a pretty recent development, but it sounds like it's going to stick for a while."

"I'll be sure to get him anything other than a doll, Captain." B'Elanna quips.

As Harry and B'Elanna exit the room, they excitedly discuss the shuttle project they were assigned to by my dad.

….

I arrive home at seventeen hundred in order to shower and change before guests start arriving for Kole's birthday party. This year he wanted his theme to be fossils (which Chakotay has been bragging about since the issue was brought up).

Outside, the backyard is set up with fake fossil digging sites for the children, various party games and every single one of Kole's favorite foods.

With two sets of grandparents, two aunts, and two parents who have been waiting for years for Kole, it's hard to find a balance between rottenness and sweetness. Kolopak and Yatzil have spent more time on Earth during the last three years than they had their entire lifetimes before, and my momma watches him three days a week while I'm at work and she is free of classes.

My shower is quick, and I take even less time to dress. I am ready within 20 minutes of arriving home. I immediately go down to the kitchen to offer my assistance – which my momma and Yatzil summarily dismiss. For thirty minutes I make my way around the property ensuring that everything is in order.

The party is set to begin at 1800 hours, and considering the fact that most of Kole's playmates are children of Starfleet officers, I am not surprised when the guests begin arriving at precisely 1800.

When everyone has arrived, the party consists of roughly 20 children and 50 adults. Kole is leading the dig in full archaeologist gear that Chakotay gifted him with when he woke up. He is occupied for thirty minutes until B'Elanna and Harry show up. Before B'Elanna has had time to put her gift on the table, Kole is running into her arms, hugging her, and dragging her off to his dig site.

I see some of my Voyager crew intermingled throughout the party, and I feel a sense of home that I remember feeling in the quiet days of the Delta Quadrant. My life is so much more than it was there, but the aspects I truly love about my life now, I owe in full to my time there. Second chances are rarer than generous Ferengi, but I have been blessed with one that has given me so much.

In a few years, the Federation will be facing the greatest adversary they will most likely ever face. With the knowledge I have, I feel confident that we will be prepared, but the Borg are ruthless.

These thoughts swirl through my head until I am pulled back to the party by a tug on my leg. The rest of the evening passes with laughter and mirth – and a significant amount of dirt.

When the presents are open, Kole names each gift B'Elanna, much to Torres's chagrin and the other guests' amusement. Kole doesn't realize what everyone is laughing at, but B'Elanna does. And that makes it even funnier.

I couldn't imagine not having her in my life. Or Harry. Or Tom. Or the myriad other 'Delta Quadrant' crew who I have somehow finagled into working for me here in the Alpha Quadrant. Mostly though, I am glad I could come back and have my father and Chakotay in my life.


	30. Chapter 30

_Two Weeks Later – 2 days before Battle of Wolf 359_

In two days, the Federation will face a threat that most people here can hardly imagine. Due to the severity of the Borg, Starfleet has called an emergency meeting of all Captains and Admirals. If they are too far away to convene, they are to place a priority subspace transmission in order to be informed. With the exception of a few ships patrolling Federation borders, every ship in the fleet will be waiting at or around Wolf 359 in two days' time.

"Captains, Admirals, thank you all for coming together. As you all know, with few exceptions, the Temporal Prime Directive must always be upheld. This is one of those exceptions. In two days a battle will most likely occur. The enemy is vicious and nearly impossible to defeat. But we have been preparing for this eventuality for almost a decade when a temporal anomaly occurred that sent me 15 years backward with no way to go forward again. Voyager will be leading the fleet at Wolf 359. All of our ships have been furnished with transphasic torpedoes, and over the next two days, all crew members will be required to get an injection from their respective CMOs. This injection is a neurolytic pathogen that has been created in the hopes to stop the enemy we are about to face."

My dad looks at me after my explanation. I can see the fear in his eyes. The fear that has been there since it was announced that I would be leading the battle with Chakotay as my right hand. For him to be sitting at headquarters, knowing that his grandchild may become an orphan, has been a terrible thought for him. It has been hard for him since I told him I wanted to have Kole's birthday party almost a month early because the New Year arrival of the Borg fell before, and I wanted to make sure I was there to celebrate. I give my father another quick glance before continuing.

"The Borg are a collective drone force. They have no care or regard for human life. They are willing to kill millions of their own numbers in order to obtain perfection. They, like bees, have a queen who gives all orders and communicates as a leader to her numbers. Because this battle is conquering a new quadrant and a new species, I have a strong suspicious that the queen herself will be in attendance. If that's the case, her death could be a crippling blow to them. They have other people trained to succeed the queen, but they severely underestimate us as an enemy and have most likely brought many of their highest ranking along for this exploration."

I look at my dad again – knowing he isn't going to like my next surprise.

"In the timeline that was obliterated, thus causing this temporal incursion I find myself in, a few key facts were different. Because you were all called to convene, you all might not have heard that Jouret IV was evacuated at my insistence. That colony has since been wiped out by the Borg. There is one other thing that is different as well. Picard?"

"Yes, Captain?"

"Preluding the other Battle of Wolf 359, you were assimilated. Your knowledge was used to crush the Federation."

Picard pales for a second before giving two quick nods.

"That of course will not be happening. Someone else will have to take your place."

"Katie?" My dad can't help but break proper protocol.

"I will be heading out in the Delta Flyer and rendezvousing with our friendly cybernetically enhanced neighbors."

My biggest supporters all appear ready to argue, so I hold both my hands up in order to stall them.

"I have been given a particular dose of the neurolytic agent that is set to start working briefly after the beginning of the coming battle. In order to keep our actual plans secret, I will be given a temporary mental block by Commander Tuvok. An EMH will be accompanying me in the Delta Flyer. After I have been assimilated, he will beam me back to the Flyer and set a course to meet up with Voyager. You have each received a padd detailing the upcoming battle. Study them, and we will reconvene at seventeen hundred hours. Dismissed."

"Katie."

I hear my name from three directions. My dad to my left, Admiral Paris to my right, and Chakotay front and center.

"This is not open for discussion. I'm the only one capable of doing this."

"You'd be better leading Voyager." Paris says.

"I will be leading Voyager. I reconvene with them half a day before the battle."

"What if you don't make it?"

I'm about to respond when Chakotay chimes in.

"As much as I hate to say this, and I truly do, Kathryn is right. She's the only one who can do this and survive." Chakotay looks glum to be agreeing, but he understands as well as anyone can.

I nod before saying, "I am going to go spend time with my family. I will be leaving immediately following tonight's session."

…

At seventeen hundred, the room is full of serious faces. I take a look around, a breath and open the floor to questions.

"How do we know the Borg will come?" asks Rear Admiral Jameson.

"We don't definitively. But considering the amount of research I did to ensure the similarities of the timeline, I am fairly confident."

"Even if they don't, it's better to be prepared." Captain Picard adds. "The tragedy I read on my padd today must not be repeated."

The discussion goes on for close to two hours. Every facet of the plans are broken down. Battle drills are sifted through with a fine toothed comb, and the plans are analyzed to everyone's comfort. We also issue everyone's flight paths. In order to not appear to be convening, the ships are all given different flight paths and times to report to Wolf 359.

"Unless anyone else can think of something to add," the Federation President finally says, "I dismiss you all, and good luck."

….

The Delta Flyer is cold when I beam aboard. I feel like I am about to fly to my death, and for once that thought scares me. I have so much to live for. Which means I also have so much to die protecting.

"Greetings Captain."

"Doctor."

"I have some Opera uploaded for the trip."

It's funny to see a creation of lights and photons try to comfort me with small talk. Without realizing it, I find him to be succeeding in calming my nerves.

"So assimilation will only be the second worst part of this trip then?" I joke.

I can see the doctor trying to find a retort when a familiar blue swirl catches my eye.

"Captain."

"Tuvok."

"Are you ready, Captain?"

My throat is suddenly dry, so I just nod. Tuvok places a hand on either side of my face and goes deep into my mind. After a few moments, I feel our minds disentangle themselves.

"I will keep you safe Captain."

"I know you will, friend. Peace and long life."

"Live long and prosper." Tuvok responds before calling for beam up.

Until I am successfully back from my assimilation, Tuvok will hold the parts of myself that are too dangerous for the Borg to gain knowledge of. The tactics, schematics, and neurolytics that give us a fighting chance are now safe.

"Let's go meet destiny." I say.

"Of course, Captain." The doctor makes quick work of setting the autopilot. With very little to do, I think almost blankly about my family.

Chakotay and Kole, my mom, dad, Yatzil, Kolopak, Phoebe, Sekaya, my Voyager crew. That last thought brings a smile to my face.

I've always been called stubborn, but the feat I pulled off with Voyager is probably the most stubborn thing I have ever done. With the exception of those we picked up in the Delta Quadrant, I got every single Voyager crew member back in Starfleet – and back on my ship.

If they didn't want to go to Starfleet, I personally tracked them down to convince them. No matter the obstacles, I didn't give up. Knowing my family is together, and will be in the midst of the battle, gives me the courage to do what I have to do.

….

Six hours pass before I see the familiar black cube. I remember when I was a little girl, I used to love cardboard boxes. They could be whatever I imagined them to be. I never imagined something so sinister as what is before me now.

Before I know what is happening, I see a faint green light, and I feel the tug of a tractor beam. I listen intently to the Borg as they say they will assimilate me. When they beam me aboard, I offer no resistance. I doubt they have too many participants as willing as me.

"You are a Captain." I hear the queen say inside my head.

"Yes, I am." I say aloud.

"You captain the newest ship in the fleet, and your husband is project head of your defensive movements."

This time I say nothing. She requires nothing of me. Instead I stand before her silently.

I hear her order all cubes to be prepared to depart. The coordinates are familiar to me. They are heading to Wolf 359.

I think it a peculiar place to attack, but I say nothing verbally or mentally. Instead I go to a secluded place on the vessel and call for beam back to the Flyer.

Immediately after I arrive on board, the Captain disengages the Borg vessel's tractor beam (making it appear to be an error with their vessel) and slips away at high warp.

As soon as I am aboard the Flyer I catch a glimpse of what I look like with all the Borg apparatus. I look frightening, and sickly. And I only hope the doctor can repair me to my normal self before we meet up with Voyager.

…

"Honey, you're bald."

"It's a new look I decided to try out. It's called post assimilation chic. It's probably going to be the biggest spring trend."

Chakotay's immediate reaction was to be expected. For the most part, I look like my old self, but the doctor didn't have time to regenerate my hair.

"We can start regenerating tonight. Okay?"

"Fine. But first I need to see Tuvok."

"Of course." Chakotay nods before hitting his comm badge. "Tuvok please report to sickbay."

"On my way." Tuvok says a second later.

Before a full minute has passed, Tuvok enters the room and places his hands on my face. After a few moments, he has successfully reintegrated all the memories he took from me.

"Battle of Wolf 359," are my first words coming out of the meld.

"That's where we are headed right now." Chakotay confirms.

"She gave them the coordinates for 359 while I was still on her vessel."

"We always expected she would."

"Let's go to the bridge. I need to send a subspace message out that the battle is to go forward."

"Yes, ma'am." Chakotay gives a weak smile before leading the way to the bridge.

"Open a channel, Harry."

"Channel open."

"All hands, this is your Captain speaking. We are currently three hours away from Wolf 359. In a little under 12 hours we will engage in one of the toughest battles, if not the toughest, any of us will ever face. Our humanity will be what makes us victorious. You are my valiant Voyagers, and I am honored to be serving with you. Janeway out."

"You ready, Chakotay."

"With you by my side, always."


	31. Chapter 31

The battle lines have been drawn, and the vessels not currently with Voyager at Wolf 359 will move to surround as soon as the Borg appear. The 12 hours since I met up with Voyager passed by quickly. So quickly in fact that I'm about to enter battle balder than the doctor.

The first Borg cube arrives precisely when it is expected. By the time the last Borg vessel arrives, there is a total of 28. I know the queen is leading front and center. She likes the conquest. For all the Borg talk of perfection, the queen is more human than any of the drones realize. She strives on conquering, on being the best. Her fight isn't to be perfect; it is merely to be better than whatever opponent they are facing at any given time.

They are not a species, merely a collection of the best and worst traits of all species collected. Like a science project gone horribly wrong. Perfection can never come from a beginning so dark and sinister, but the Borg haven't learned that lesson. The Queen doesn't understand that striving for perfection at the loss of individuality and humanity isn't worth it. Nothing is a worthy goal if you have to give up yourself to achieve it.

"We are the Borg. Your biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to our own. Resistance is futile," the queen's sickly sweet voice pumps out over the comm line.

"Maybe you should turn around." I parry back.

"Janeway. I had wondered where you had gone."

"I just came here to kick your ass, my Queen."

"You and all your numbers will be assimilated."

I am fighting between trying to keep the queen talking so I can see when the neurolytic agent kicks in and just blasting vessels with transphasic torpedoes. Before I can decide what course of action I plan to utilize, the Borg vessels start firing.

"Attack formation Delta. Fire on all Borg vessels." I announce via intership communication.

The battle begins in a fireworks show. The Borg ships maneuver the lead vessel into the center of their folds in order to protect the queen, but every other ship is firing. The transphasic torpedoes are tearing into the Borg vessels, and they are making no progress in adapting.

Before they can even think of retreat (not that the Borg ever would), the rest of our numbers arrive – surrounding the Borg completely.

At the end of 45 minutes, there are only two Borg cubes left. We have lost only one Federation vessel, the Melbourne. Before its ultimate destruction, we were able to beam their crew to another vessel. There is too much going on to have compiled a list of casualty, but I am sure that the numbers are nowhere near the 10,000 from the previous Battle of Wolf 359.

"It seems you have underestimated us." I announce to the Borg Queen.

"Delta 7-9. Arriving at. Hub. Unimatrix 1. Complex."

I can see the struggle on the Queen's face, and I hear it in her choppy words.

"Harry, open a channel to all Starfleet vessels."

At Harry's nod, I begin, "Attention all Starfleet crew, halt your attack. We want to keep these two cubes intact. Within the next five minutes, all active drones should become neutralized. At that point, the six predetermined ships will take their three crew parties aboard the cubes. Voyager, Enterprise, and Andromeda will board the Queen's vessel while Gage, Yamaguchi, and Buran will beam to the other vessel. If you come across an active drone, I give the order – backed by the President of the UFP, to disable that drone. The aforementioned ships, report to your transporter room and beam to the Borg ship in five minutes. Every ship needs to begin compiling casualty reports and send them to headquarters. Good work today, everyone. Janeway out."

When I finish speaking, I notice how tightly I have begun to grip the arms of my chair, and I consciously loosen my hands.

"Chakotay, Tuvok, follow me."

We walk in silence to the transporter room. Chakotay has placed his hand at my lower back, and I realize he doesn't need to say anything else in order to give me the message.

"B'Elanna beam the three of us directly to the Queen's vessel." I say as soon as we step onto the transporter platform.

"Picard, Ator, for once I'm as bald as the two of you." I say to my fellow captains.

"Charming as always, Kathryn." Picard volleys back.

"I want us to stay together right now. We will do a complete sweep and then prepare this vessel for transport to McKinley Station."

The green and black halls are littered with bodies of former drones. In most instances, I would look at death as the ultimate loss, but had I been forced to stay a drone, death would've been a welcome resolution. To be a drone means your identity, your individuality, has already been taken from you. You are not a person, you are a machine living off the orders of another being.

Three floors below our starting position, we come across a strange room lined with tubes along each wall. Inside of the tubes are drones of all species, and all are very young. I look closely at each child and wonder if the Doctor's wisdom will be able to rehabilitate each of these children.

When I get to the fourth tube, my breath stops in my throat. There, looking no older than 16 or 17 is –

"Seven. Annika."

Without thinking any farther, I hit my comm badge.

"Doctor?"

"Yes, Captain? Are you injured?"

"No. I was wondering if the other medics could handle sickbay at the moment. I need you over here."

"Of course, Captain."

Almost immediately, I see the Doctor's form beam into existence.

"What is it, Captain?"

"Yes, what is it Captain?" Picard parrots.

"Doctor, these chambers appear to be like wombs. These drones don't appear to be adversely affected by the neurolytic pathogen, and I was wondering if you could revert them to their pre-assimilation forms."

"I believe so, Captain," the Doctor says while staring intently into the chambers.

"Kathryn, you said Seven earlier…" Chakotay leads.

"She was aboard the Delta Quadrant Voyager. She was a full-fledged drone. Her real name is Annika Hansen, originally from Earth."

"I should probably start with the oldest ones first, Captain. That appears to be Annika. We should also check with the landing party aboard the other cube and see if there are similar chambers over there."

"Of course, Doctor. Get on that. Meanwhile, I see no reason why more extensive landing parties can't board in order to prepare for moving. I say our work is done."


	32. Chapter 32

"We are gathered here today to honor a great Captain. A woman who risked the punishment of breaking the Temporal Prime Directive in order to ensure the safety of the Federation. She overcame personal strife, and led a Battle, the likes of which the Federation has never seen before. Captain Janeway, you are hereby awarded the Medal of Honor. I am the only Federation member with the ability to award this honor, and I can think of no one more deserving."

Through the President's speech, I am standing stiffer than I can ever remember standing in my life – which means a lot coming from a Starfleet brat. But I am almost scared to move, scared to shake.

"Thank you Madam President."

With my part of the ceremony over, I begin to think about the changes the last few weeks have brought.

It has been two and a half weeks since the Battle of Wolf 359. We ended up losing one vessel and 13 crewmen and women. The losses, though very low, still feel like immense to me. I did as much as I could, yet still 13 people never got to come home. The Borg have made no further appearance in the interim, and we have used our time analyzing the Borg vessels with the help of a rehabilitated Annika Hansen.

Without her extreme guilt from the various assimilations she performed as a drone, she has had a much easier time reintegrating into human life. Besides her, there were seven children ranging from infancy to what would appear in a human to be 14 years of age. They have all been given homes with Alpha Quadrant families since we don't currently have the means to take them to their original home worlds.

"Kathryn, are you ready to go home?" During my wandering thoughts, Chakotay had made his way to the stage.

"Of course." I say while placing my hand in the crook of his elbow.

There is a big party later this evening at Starfleet headquarters, to celebrate the successful Battle of Wolf 359. Yet no matter how much we tell him otherwise, Kole believes the party is for him.

"But Mommy," he says, "Why is it on my birthday?"

"Because honey," I reply (over and over – little kids are so pushy), "This is the earliest they could have it once they analyzed everything."

"Then why does it say honoring Janeway? That's my last name."

"That's mommy's last name, too, Kole. They are honoring me."

"But why?" He asks confused and slightly incensed. "It isn't even your birthday."

"They think mommy did something really special. Kinda like when we took you for pizza after you learned to use the big boy potty." I try to explain.

"But we didn't have a party. Parties are for birthdays. It's my birthday. So it's my party."

"Good deduction Kole. I can't argue against that." I say. What I actually mean is, 'it's not even worth it. What do I care if he thinks this party is for him?'

With that explanation over with, I get cleaned up and dressed before putting Kole's tux on him. As I'm walking down the stairs with Kole in my arms, I catch a glimpse of Chakotay looking very much like an adult version of the child in my arms.

"If we weren't already married, I don't know if I could stay away from a dashing man like you." I say when I reach the bottom step.

"I can't wait to show you off tonight. Every man there will be jealous that you're with me."

My dress is a deep shade of blue, the exact color of my eyes. It's sleeveless and satin with an asymmetrical neckline. It's incredibly simple, but pairs well with my now waist length red hair.

Chakotay and Kole are both wearing traditional tuxes and make the most handsome penguins I have ever seen.

"Are you two ready to go?" Chakotay asks.

"My party." Kole says trying to assert that the party is in fact for him.

"Are you two ready to go to Kole's party?"

"Yes." I answer for both of us.

Chakotay hits the badge in his hand and calls for us to be beamed to the lobby of the ballroom where the party is to be held.

"Katie." My dad says immediately upon our arrival.

"Hey, daddy." I reply with a hug.

My daddy and Kolopak are both decked out in tuxes. Phoebe and Sekaya are wearing original pieces – the only difference in the two of them being that Phoebe's is silver and Sekaya's is gold. My mother is wearing a three-quarters sleeve, lacy, floor length dress of a rich lilac. Yatzil's dress is a tribal design in burnt umber with a cinched waist of braided bronze.

"Don't we have a handsome family?" I say after I get a good look at everyone.

"Beautiful, mommy. You and my aunts and grandmas are beautiful." Kole says with a cheeky grin.

"Let's go in." My dad says with an ushering hand.

As I enter with one hand tucked into Chakotay's elbow and the other holding Kole's hand, the room goes completely silent. After a few seconds, a roaring round of applause begins with Admiral Paris. My face flushes at being the center of attention, but Kole waves and gives his thanks to everyone for coming to his party.

The evening is like any other elegant, Starfleet affair. There is a dinner made by combining specialties from many home worlds, speeches given by windbags, and dancing accompanied by a beautiful orchestra.

The night is standard until the end of the evening. I am feeling exhausted, so I have taken a seat near the corner of the room while Chakotay dances with Sekaya. Annika approaches as I see most of my family making their way towards my table to say their goodbyes.

"You look tired, Captain."

"It's Kathryn when we aren't working, Annika. I don't want to have to tell you that again." I say with a mock glare.

"Of course, Kathryn." Annika smiles.

Before I know what is happening, Annika whips a medical tricorder out.

"Why do you have a medical tricorder?"

"The Doctor gave it to me so I may monitor my remaining Borg implants each morning." She replies absently while scanning.

Before I can say anything else, two things happen simultaneously, 1) my family (all of them) arrive at my table, and 2) Annika says in a voice that can be heard by at least a third of the room, "no wonder you are so tired. You have entered your sixth week of pregnancy."

"What did you just say?" I stutter.

"You are six weeks pregnant. This time often causes exhaustion in mothers. It is no wonder you look as tired as you do. Your daughter requires an extensive amount of your energy."

"Our daughter?" Chakotay says over my shoulder.

"I am assuming by your reactions that this news was not known to you. As I have been reading about human customs, I have made a major blunder for which I apologize."

Everyone in the room has stopped even pretending to not be listening by this point in the conversation.

"It's fine, Annika. Is she healthy?"

"She appears to be so, but I am not a medical professional. I would encourage you to make an appointment with the Doctor as soon as you are able." Annika's eyes hold a thank you for not being angry with her.

"Of course. For now, however, I would like to head home. I happen to be as tired as I apparently look. Chakotay?"

"Yes, momma."

"Let's go home."

I hear nothing as I walk through a path made from the stunned crowd of Starfleet officers and their families. The last person I pass before entering the lobby is Tom Paris. Before I can completely exit, he finally speaks.

"Only you could beat the Borg recently assimilated, bald, and four weeks pregnant. Are you trying to make the rest of us look bad?"

"It's not all that hard to make you look bad, Tom."

"Tell that to the mirrors, Kathryn." He replies with a smile. "Congratulations."

After that, the room reverberates with a congratulations. I nod and wave before calling for a beam out, stepping out of my dress and immediately into bed.


	33. Chapter 33

_Epilogue_

 _4 years and 3 months later – on the edge of the Badlands_

Voyager is sitting at the edge of the Badlands waiting to see if the Caretaker sends a displacement wave at the Delta Flyer positioned 200,000 kilometers inside. We started our wait on the same day that The Val Jean disappeared in the other timeline, but no waves were present. If nothing happens today, we are heading back to Earth.

"How much longer am I staying out here Captain?" Paris says from the Flyer. "B'Elanna keeps complaining that Carey is destroying her warp core."

"Let's give it another hour. If nothing happens before then, we will begin – "

"Captain?"

"What is it Harry?"

"Something is appearing on sensors."

"Tom, get out of there."

Before long, the Flyer is docked back aboard Voyager.

"What are the sensors reading now?"

"I don't think it's a displacement wave, Captain, but I have never seen readings like this."

"Let me see," I reply as I head to Harry's station.

The readings are familiar. I have seen them one time before, but I don't know what to make of seeing them now.

Before I can say anything to prepare them, a ship appears suddenly right in front of us.

"Shields raised." Chakotay shouts.

"Belay that order, Tuvok." I state calmly. "Open a hailing frequency."

The view screen takes a second to clear after the hail is answered, but when it does it's a welcome sight that greets me.

"Kes. Neelix."

"She was right." Neelix says with a voice of wonder.

"Kes. I've missed you. I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised that you somehow knew."

"I missed you, Captain."

"I'm happy to see you both, but I was sort of expecting a displacement wave."

"You can stop expecting that. Without Krenim interference, the Caretaker never disturbed the Ocampans, and we never lost our mental abilities."

"Incredible."

"You didn't think your life was the only one changed, did you?" Kes teases.

"Of course not. Why don't you land in a shuttle bay, so I can greet you properly?"

"I thought you'd never ask." Kes says with an impish smile.

Ten minutes later, I meet them both at the doors to the shuttle bay and immediately give them the hugs I had promised.

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again," I say putting my hands on either sides of Kes' face. "For so long, you were the only daughter I ever knew. You will never know how hard it was for me to let you go." With that I pull her into my arms again and give her a hug resembling the one I gave her on her farewell.

"And Neelix, I didn't think I'd ever say this, but I miss how you fix leola root." Neelix gives a toothy, very pointedly toothy, grin in reply.

"Why don't we take this to my ready room?"

As we walk along the corridor, I keep sneaking glances of my two prodigal friends. Neelix is enthralled by this brand new experience, but Kes looks at Voyager like an old friend.

The first thing Kes does when she enters my ready room is pick up a family holo Chakotay and I had made a month before.

"Your family is beautiful."

"That little man there is Edward Kolopak. He's seven, and that sweet angel is Elizabeth Kes. She's three." I say pointing to my two children. "And you know Chakotay."

"I'm honored that you named your daughter after me."

"There was never any doubt. Now I'm glad she can meet her namesake. You are coming back to Earth with us, right?"

"Absolutely. I can travel back to the Delta Quadrant any time I want. I would like to see what the planet, that you were trying so hard to get back to, actually looks like."

"What do you mean you can get back anytime you want?"

"Delta Quadrant technology is far more advanced than it was when you were there. The Phage never happened, so the Vidiians could focus on more technological pursuits. The Kazon are still the Kazon, but they have moved deeper into the Delta Quadrant. With your hit to the Borg, that space was open for colonization. I can give the Federation the technology. I'd love you to come visit."

I nod while giving my signature half smile.

…..

The past 13 years have been an incredible experience. An experience only eclipsed by the one that ultimately led me here. My years in the Delta Quadrant gave me a perspective on life that has allowed me to spare a lot of heartache, none more so than my own.

I imagine that if someone were to view my life as a series of chapters, the heartache of my former life would've seemed rudely unfair. I probably would've continued to be miserable and self-destructive, and in the end, I would've lost everything. I would've become an empty shell of a woman, hell bent and guilty.

Instead, I look at the picture Kes picked up from my desk, and I see a happy woman in the arms of her soulmate with her two beautiful children sitting on her lap. In another picture, I see my parents looking deeply into each other's eyes while Phoebe and I make bunny ears behind them (35 isn't too old to have a little fun). In yet another, I see Kolopak and Yatzil renewing their bond at Anam with Sekaya, Chakotay, me, Kole, Elizabeth, and the rest of the tribe surrounding them. All these things could've been lost – had been lost in another time and place.

The choices I have made have dramatically changed the universe that I am living in. Instead of misery, I have been given joy. Instead of loneliness, family. Instead of destruction, restoration. Instead of hopelessness, optimism.

But in all this, there is one constant that remains: I am Kathryn Elizabeth Janeway, Captain of Voyager.


End file.
